Barry Diller is giving a small glimpse into his world.
Over 20 years after the businessman tied the knot with Diane von Fürstenberg following a decadeslong romance, he shared insight into their relationship while publicly coming out as gay.
“I’ve lived for decades reading about Diane and me: about us being best friends rather than lovers,” Barry explained in an excerpt from his memoir Who Knew published by New York Magazine May 6. “We weren’t just friends. We aren’t just friends. Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years.”
“Yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane,” he continued. “I can’t explain it to myself or to the world. It simply happened to both of us without motive or manipulation. In some cosmic way we were destined for each other.”
Reflecting on society’s current view on sexuality, he added, “sexual identities are much more fluid and natural, without all those rigidly defined lanes of the last century.”
Indeed, when Barry first met Diane—who shares kids Alexander von Fürstenberg, 55, and Tatiana von Fürstenberg, 54, with ex Egon von Fürstenberg—in 1974, he had only been romantic with men at that point.
“I have never questioned my sexuality’s basic authority over my life (I was only afraid of the reaction of others),” he recalled. “When my romance with Diane began, I never questioned that its biological imperative was as strong in its heterosexuality as its opposite had been. When it happened, my initial response was, 'Who knew?’”
He acknowledged that his romance with the fashion designer—with whom he broke up with in 1981 before reuniting in 1991—had “caused confusion and lots of speculation.”
“A relationship that began with indifference, then exploded into a romance as natural to us as breathing, surprised us and everyone else,” Barry wrote. “It really is the miracle of my life.”
Although there had been questions about his sexual preferences in the past, which were squashed when he and Diane went public with their romance, he never publicly discussed it.
“Many of us at that time were in this exiled state, so stunted in the way we lived,” he reflected. “I could have declared my sexuality, come out as some others were doing, but I was among the many at that time who were too scared to do so.”
Barry decided that he would “live in silence” but “not with hypocrisy.”
“I would never pose or pretend,” he explained. “I wouldn’t do a single thing to make anyone believe I was living a heterosexual life.”
So, Barry was especially surprised when he felt physically drawn to Diane on their first date.
“We wound around each other, making out like teenagers, something I hadn’t done with a female since I was 16 years old,” he wrote. “Now, this has always amazed me: There was no effort, no reasoning, no what’s-going-on-here, no ambition, no anything. Other than sheer excitement, I thought, ‘Well, this is a surprise!’ I certainly didn’t feel, ‘Oh my God, what does this mean?’”
Instead, as he put it, “I was simply existing in the moment, a rare place for me.”
As for Diane, though she has not addressed Barry’s excerpts publicly, she did speak out shortly thereafter to pay tribute to her late friend André Leon Talley.
“Last night when the Met Gala celebrated their show 'Superfine: tailoring Black Style' I know that Andre was looking down from Heaven and thanking Anna Wintour, Vogue, Andrew Bolton, the Met for honoring black style,” she wrote in a May 6 Instagram post, “I am sorry to have missed the ball being in Venice for my project at the Bienale, but I can’t wait to see the show.”
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Who Knew by Barry Diller
This bold and refreshingly candid memoir pulls back the curtain on Hollywood, media, and power, all told in Barry Diller’s unmistakable voice. Get this book for a sharp, unfiltered look at a legendary career in entertainment and beyond.
Keep reading to see more stars who've shared their coming out story.
JoJo Siwa
The Dance Moms alum didn't give it a second thought when she came out in a 2021 Instagram story.
"I came out when I was 17 but I didn't understand at the time what a big deal that was," she told People in October 2023. "I didn't understand why that was scary."
"Of course there was a lot of positivity and love and acceptance but then there was a lot of negativity, and I did lose a lot," she continued. "I didn't care, and I still don't care [about] the things I lost and the people that I lost and if I lost a chunk of fans...because it's who I am."
Miley Cyrus
While the "Flowers" singer was never a big fan of labels, she came out as pansexual in 2016.
"My whole life, I didn't understand my own gender and my own sexuality," she revealed to Variety in October 2016. "I always hated the word 'bisexual,' because that's even putting me in a box. I don't ever think about someone being a boy or someone being a girl."
She continued, "Also, my nipple pasties and s--t never felt sexualized to me. My eyes started opening in the fifth or sixth grade. My first relationship in my life was with a chick."
Matt Bomer
For Matt, coming out to his conservative Christian family marked the start of a new era in his life.
"Telling your family is a huge, huge deal," the White Collar alum, who shares three kids with husband Simon Halls, previously told OUT Magazine. "I really view my life as divided between the time before I told my parents, and the time after. And the decisions I made, and the life I lived, before and after, are vastly different. It's night and day."
Chappell Roan
The "Good Luck, Babe!" singer revealed that she isn't always as confident and comfortable as she may seem. And her Midwest roots played a huge role.
"I was scared of flamboyantly gay people because I was taught that," she told Rolling Stone. "[I realized] people hate flamboyantly gay people because it just exudes femininity, and people hate women. Just little things like that, you're like, 'Oh my God, this is just so f--ked.'"
"It took a lot of unlearning, and there's still things I"m still confused about, and [it's] why I feel so uncomfortable being gay sometimes," she continued. "I don't get why this is such an issue for me. It shouldn't be, but something's just going on and I need to just accept that."
Gabby Windey
The Bachelorette alum came out on an episode of The View, when she revealed she was in a committed relationship with Robby Hoffman, the comedian she wed in January 2025.
"I've been keeping it kind of private," she said in the August 2023 episode, "because it is a bigger story and a bigger conversation because I'm dating a girl."
"I think it was always a whisper in me that just got louder and louder," she continued. "I didn't really know to pay attention to it. When this happens there's some shame attached to it and I had to a little bit navigate through that shame; what is it, where is it coming from."
Renee Rapp
The Mean Girls star, having previously identified as bisexual, came out as lesbian in January 2024—on an episode of Saturday Night Live. And her friends played a supporting role in the decision.
“All of a sudden, I had these people around me who were either nonbinary people, trans friends, or lesbians," she told Billboard months later, "and I was like, ‘I feel so happy when I’m with you guys. And I also really want to call myself a lesbian when I’m around you.’”
Amber Ruffin
The former late-night host officially came out as queer on the last day of Pride month in 2024.
“In what will come as a shock to exactly zero people, I’m using the last day of PRIDE to come out!” she wrote in a June 2024 Instagram post, wearing a tank with the word “Queer” printed on the front.
“Be proud of who you are, little babies! I know I am!” she continued. “And I can’t wait to be discriminated against for a new reason!!”
Dove Cameron
Before revealing her sexuality, the former Disney Channel star was actually nervous to publicly come out as queer.
"I've hinted about my sexuality for years while being afraid to spell it out for everybody," she told Gay Times in May 2021. "I did a lyric video last year, for 'We Belong.' It had moving line drawings of people falling in love…It was all a man and a woman making out and it was a weird moment for me."
"When the song came out, everybody got the idea that the song was a big LGBTQ+ anthem song and I found myself in this position where everyone thought I was queerbaiting," she continued. "I went on Instagram Live and said 'Guys, I really needed to explain something to you. Maybe I haven't said it, but I'm super queer. This is something I want to represent through my music because it's who I am.'"
Demi Lovato
The "Heart Attack" singer came out as nonbinary in a 2021 Instagram post.
"Every day we wake up, we are given another opportunity and chance to be who we want and wish to be," she wrote in the caption. "I've spent the majority of my life growing in front of all of you… you've seen the good, the bad, and everything in between. Not only has my life been a journey for myself, I was also living for those on the other side of the cameras."
"Today is a day I'm so happy to share more of my life with you all - I am proud to let you know that I identify as non-binary and will officially be changing my pronouns to they/them moving forward," Demi—who has since gone back to using she/her pronouns—continued. "This has come after a lot of healing and self-reflective work. I'm still learning and coming into myself, and I don't claim to be an expert or a spokesperson. Sharing this with you now opens another level of vulnerability for me."
Becca Tilley
Though the Bachelor alum has been dating singer Hayley Kiyoko since 2018, she did not publicly come out until four years into her relationship. And though she admitted it felt weird once everyone found out, she saw the impact of publicly sharing her truth.
"I realized this is so much bigger than me and my relationship and my personal experience because if it helped anyone feel comfortable or brave to be comfortable with who they fall in love with, then that's way bigger than me and my fears and what I was scared of," she told E! News in June 2022. "It's very humbling to read comments like that and realize the significance of something as simple as falling in love and sharing that."
Troye Sivan
Three years after coming out to his family at age 15, Troye publicly shared his story in a YouTube video. And as he later recalled, his decision to come out occurred amid a pivotal moment in his life.
"I was about to sign my record deal, and I really wanted to be in charge of how I came out," he told People in February 2022. "I didn't want anyone to take that away from me. I wanted to start going out and going to gay clubs and meeting boys, and I wanted to write songs about love that were true and genuine."
Chrishell Stause
The Selling Sunset star—who is married to singer G Flip—stresses the importance of prioritizing yourself.
"If someone truly loves you, your happiness should always come before their beliefs," Chrishell, who began her romance with the Australian singer in 2022, told E! News. "Never conform to others ideas they have for your life. It's yours and you only get one."
Chris Olsen
The TikToker—who was openly gay at an all-boys high school—uses his platform to encourage others to be comfortable with who they are.
"My identity will already be something that can be of controversy, depending on who the audience is," Chris told E! News in October 2022. "So one of my passive-active missions in having this platform is to try to break that down and bring normalcy to this identity."
Andy Cohen
The Bravo star, who came out while in college, shared some valuable advice for having those big coming out conversations.
"My advice would be, find one friend that you can tell," he previously told E! News. "All it takes is one friend that you know will be supportive. And that friend can be your island and just kind of branch out from there. It's always worse in your head than it's going to be."