It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, it's time to rank the Muppets before the Muppet show tonight!
That's right, they're back! Those beloved little felt monsters are finally returning to the small screen after nearly five years away (RIP, ABC's The Muppets) with the July 31 premiere of Muppets Now on Disney+. In the new series—billed as Muppet Studios' first unscripted show ever—Jim Henson's iconic creations promise to deliver the same sort of startling silliness and chaotic fun that made them famous to begin with.
Over the course of the six-episode first season, poor Scooter tries to meet his delivery deadlines and upload the new Muppet series made for streaming, which is due now. Of course, his co-workers have no interest in making that easy for him. Would you expect anything less?
In honor of their big return, we're getting a little bit crazy and ranking all (or most) of the Muppets that span the franchise's many movies & TV series. Do Kermit and Miss Piggy take the top spots or does someone else reign supreme?
Let's get to it, shall we? Read on to find out who is our No. 1 Muppet!
No. 20: Bean Bunny
He's responsible for the entire catastrophe that is Disneyland's Muppet Vision 3D and we will never forgive him.
19. Sam Eagle
He's like Ron Swanson minus all the things that make Ron Swanson endearing.
No. 18: Bunsen Honeydew
We blame Bunsen's negligence in the laboratory for all of Beaker's many injuries.
No. 17: Uncle Deadly
His face bothers us. He's like a mostly evil catfish who also plays the organ.
No. 16: Bobo the Bear
Bobo just has no place looking like that much of a real bear in the Muppet-verse.
No. 15: Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem
A band this iconic, they're a package deal. They're also just so '70s. Sorry, Janice stans.
No. 14: Jason Segel
He's a Muppet of a man! (And the man responsible for reviving the film franchise back in 2011, instantly earning himself a spot on this list.)
No. 13: Fozzie Bear
We have a thing about terrible comedians and that thing is called secondhand embarrassment. (Sorry, Fozzie.)
No. 12: Sweetums
He may be gigantic but he's a true sweetheart.
No. 11: Camilla the Chicken
Gonzo's lady love is responsible for an awful lot of clucking to the tune of popular songs, but at least the songs are less likely to get stuck in our heads that way.
No. 10: Animal
Never have we been so enchanted by the relationship between a drummer and his drums.
No. 9: Rowlf the Dog
Gotta love a dog who can play some mean jazz piano.
No. 8: Pepe the Prawn
We can't exactly put our finger on why, but he entertains us, especially when he plays Celeb Tinder.
No. 7: Rizzo the Rat
Similarly, we couldn't tell you why, but we're rather fond of this tough New Yorker..
No. 6: Kermit the Frog
Just make up your mind about Miss Piggy already and quit whining about it, you beloved frog friend!
No. 5: Statler and Waldorf
The epitome of pop culture commentators! Plus, how can you not love two very old men in a lifelong bromance? You can't have one without the other!
No. 4: Miss Piggy
Sure, she can be annoying, but she's also an unapologetically confident female who isn't afraid to pull some punches when she needs to. We have no choice but to stan.
No. 3: Swedish Chef
Borky bork gesporken blergy smurg geborken!
No. 2: Beaker
Someday, one of his experiments will actually work and he will rule the world. In the meantime, we'll give him the love that ol' Bunsen Honeydew never does.
No. 1: Gonzo
Kermit and Piggy may be the stars, but the Great Gonzo is the unsung hero of the Muppet-verse. His species is mysterious, he's engaged (married?) to a chicken, and his song in The Muppet Movie actually makes us want to cry. His stunts may not always work out, but it's never for a lack of trying. Also, he's not annoying, which is a major Muppet plus!
Muppets Now premieres Friday, July 31 on Disney+ with new episodes dropping every week.
(Originally published on Sept. 22, 2015 at 9:27 a.m. PST.)