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Season 2, Episode 2: Britney/Brittany (2010)
— All of the kids go to the dentist (John Stamos) because when he puts them under anesthesia, they have elaborate Britney Spears fantasies, in which Britney Spears occasionally actually appears. That's all.
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Season 2, Episode 3: Grilled Cheesus (2010)
— Finn sees the face of Jesus in his grilled cheese sandwich and prays for the football team to win a game, for Rachel to let him get to second base, and to become the quarterback again. All of his prayers come true, and then he eats the sandwich.
— Burt has a heart attack and Mercedes wants to pray for him even though Kurt is an atheist, which sparks a debate about religion that ends with the whole club coming together to wonder in song, "What if God was one of us?" Burt ends up being fine.
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Season 2, Episode 4: Duets (2010)
— Brittany and Santana have been hooking up, but Santana doesn't want to be her duet partner. She chooses Mercedes instaed, which sends Brittany into Artie's arms. She then takes his virginity.
— Puck goes to juvie for stealing his mom's car and driving it through a convenience store window.
— New kid Sam joins the glee club and duets with Quinn.
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Season 2, Episode 5: The Rocky Horror Glee Show (2010)
— We don't like to talk about this episode, unless you'd like to discuss Sam in the gold shorts, or the fact that Will never fails to be inappropriate.
— Why would they spend all that time and money and drama only to cancel the audience and just perform the show for no one? These are the questions that keep us up at night.
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Season 2, Episode 6: Never Been Kissed (2010)
— The new thing at McKinley is picturing Coach Beiste as a way of "cooling down" during make-out sessions. Beiste quits when she finds out about it, until Will comforts her, gives her her first kiss, and tells her she is beautiful inside and out before getting the glee boys to perform a song for her. Apology accepted because music never fails!
— Kurt goes to spy on their sectionals competition at Dalton Academy and meets the love of his life, Blaine Anderson.
— Blaine gives Kurt the confidence to stand up to his long-time bully, Karofsky, who then reveals to Kurt that he is actually also gay by kissing him unexpectedly.
— Puck gets out of juvie.
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Season 2, Episode 7: The Substitute (2010)
— Will gets sick so Gwyneth Paltrow shows up as a substitute, and she is a barrel of fun, or something disguised as fun that could get old real quick.
— Mercedes is tired of third-wheeling it with Kurt and Blaine, so she takes out her anger on Sue's new healthy eating initiative with a tater tot protest.
— Terri takes care of Will while he's sick, which leads to them sleeping together again.
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Season 2, Episode 8: Furt (2010)
— Burt and Finn's mom Carole get engaged and also married.
— Burt tries and fails to get Sue and the school board to expel Karofsky for bullying Kurt so badly, so Kurt transfers to Dalton.
— Sue gets married to herself for some reason, accompanied by her sister Jean and her unwelcome mother, Carol Burnett.
— Sam and Quinn start dating because Quinn was impressed to see Sam stand up for Kurt.
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Season 2, Episode 9: Special Education (2010)
— Rachel finds out that Finn slept with Santana and then lied about it, so she fools around with Puck to get back at Finn, which leads him to break up with her.
— Will switches up the solos for sectionals, which angers Rachel, but they tie against the Warblers.
— Emma marries John Stamos in Vegas, which is the worst news of Will's life. You go girl, is what we have to say to Emma.
— Lauren joins the glee club to replace Kurt.
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Season 2, Episode 10: A Very Glee Christmas (2010)
— Brittany still believes in Santa, so the club tries hard to keep that up.
— Sue dresses up like the Grinch and steals all the presents.
— Finn breaks up with Rachel even harder.
— Will discourages watch-selling and hair-donating in the name of charity and suggests that the glee club provide musical entertainment as their charity instead, because Will is cheap as hell.
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Season 2, Episode 11: The Sue Sylvester Shuffle (2011)
— Football? Zombies? IDK
— Finn and Quinn start kissin' again.
— The Cheerios lose their own Regionals for the first time in a long while and Sue is humiliated on TV by Katie Couric.
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Season 2, Episode 12: Silly Love Songs (2011)
— Finn sets up a kissing booth as an excuse to kiss Quinn in public, and Santana uses a convenient strand of mono that apparently only infects Santana, Finn, and Quinn to expose their affair.
— Blaine wants to sing a song at a Gap to a guy who is not Kurt, and it doesn't go well. Kurt then tells Blaine how he really feels about him.
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Season 2, Episode 13: Comeback (2011)
— Sue is so depressed that she joins the glee club and kind of likes it.
— Sam forms a Justin Bieber tribute band to try and win Quinn back. All the guys join in, and we are not the slightest bit mad about it.
— Rachel gives Brittany a Rachel Berry makeover in an attempt to make herself seem cooler, but it only makes Brittany seem cooler.
— Santana convinces Sam to date her instead, since Quinn is clearly cheating on him. He agrees.
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Season 2, Episode 14: Blame It On the Alcohol (2011)
— All of New Directions plus Kurt and Blaine gets drunk at Rachel's house, and it's time for a Very Special Episode about drinking!
— Rachel and Blaine make out at the party, which causes Blaine to question his sexuality for the entire episode, until he kisses Rachel again while sober, confirming that he is definitely gay.
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Season 2, Episode 15: Sexy (2011)
— Burt gives Kurt the long overdue sex talk.
— Puck and Lauren almost make a sex tape in the library until they discover that they would then be making underage porn, so instead they join the celibacy club.
— Santana announces that she is in love with Brittany, but Brittany doesn't want to hurt Artie, who she is apparently still dating.
— Quinn and Finn make it official once again.
— Will goes a smoochin' with Gwyneth Paltrow.
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Season 2, Episode 16: Original Song (2011)
— Blaine and Kurt kiss for the first time over a dead bird, and then they kiss some more.
— Rachel learns that Finn and Quinn are dating again and have very exciting life plans to become the prom king and queen.
— Sue becomes the coach of a rival glee club, Aural Intensity.
— The New Directions win Regionals with two original songs, one of which was written by Rachel about her relationship with Finn.
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Season 2, Episode 17: A Night of Neglect (2011)
— Sue creates the League of Doom, consisting of Terri, Sandy Ryerson, and new Vocal Adrenaline coach Dustin Goolsby, whose soul purpose is to destroy the glee club.
— Sandy eventually has a change of heart and donates his drug money so the New Directions can afford to go to Nationals.
— Gwyneth Paltrow leaves to teach French in Cleveland.
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Season 2, Episode 18: Born This Way (2011)
— Finn breaks Rachel's nose while dancing, and she considers plastic surgery until Kurt uses a flash mob to convince her not to do that.
— Karofsky apologizes and Kurt comes back to McKinley.
— Santana and Karofsky agree to play each other's beards.
— Lauren reveals that Quinn used to be fat and got a nose job, but it only makes Quinn more popular.
— The New Directions use Lady Gaga and some t-shirts to make themselves feel better about their flaws.
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Season 2, Episode 19: Rumours (2011)
— Brittany accidentally outs Santana on her web show, Fondue for Two, and Santana is having a hard time with it.
— Artie and Brittany finally break up after he calls her stupid.
— Sue revives the school's old gossip newspaper and causes people to think that Sam is having an affair with both Kurt and Quinn, when actually he's living in a motel since his dad lost his job.
— April Rhodes (Kristen Chenoweth) returns and asks Will if he wants to go on the road with her and her musical about her life. Please Will, say yes!
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Season 2, Episode 20: Prom Queen (2011)
— Rachel plans to go to prom on a budget with Sam and Mercedes, but then Jesse shows up out of nowhere because Finn needs someone to fight with.
— And sure enough, Jesse and Finn get into a huge fight over Rachel and get kicked out of the prom.
— Karofsky wins prom king and Kurt wins prom queen in a super ridiculous bit of bullying, but Kurt makes it work and then dances with Blaine.
— Quinn blames Rachel for making her and Finn lose, so she slaps her, and then they make up and sort of become friends immediately.
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Season 2, Episode 21: Funeral (2011)
— Sue's sister Jean dies, and she first kicks Becky off of the Cheerios in her grief, but then she takes it back and promotes her to captain.
— Finn breaks up with Quinn, and Quinn hints about some mysterious plans for when they get to New York for Nationals.
— Jesse is appointed Show Choir Consultant, but he hates all performances aside from Rachel's.
— Just when Finn is about to go get Rachel back, he sees her kissing Jesse, because that's how these things always go on TV.
— Will plans to stay in New York for a while to work with April on her musical.
— Sue claims to no longer be interested in sabotaging the glee club, and Terri announces that she's moving to Florida.
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Season 2, Episode 22: New York (2011)
— Finn takes Rachel out on a date in New York, but she says she wants to focus on her career instead of boys.
— During their performance at Nationals, Finn kisses Rachel anyway, and then she changes her mind.
— New Directions places 12th in the competition, meaning they miss moving on to the next round by two spots.
— Will changes his mind about touring with April after he sees how upset the kids get when they find out he's leaving them.
— Sam and Mercedes start dating.
— Blaine tells Kurt he loves him.
— It appears that Quinn had no plans whatsoever for New York, unless her plans were to cry a lot.
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Season 3, Episode 1: The Purple Piano Project (2011)
— Rachel and Kurt somehow had no idea Julliard didn't have a musical theatre program but then immediately become obsessed with whatever random college Emma suggests to them.
— To cheer people up after New Directions became a joke after Finn and Rachel's kiss at Nationals (as if people don't eat that s--t up), Will paints a bunch of pianos purple, puts them all over the school, and tells the club to perform anytime they see one, as if high school students and teachers love nothing more than spontaneous musical numbers.
— Sue runs for Congress on a platform of destroying all arts programs.
— Mercedes reveals that she and Sam broke up, because Sam's dad got a job elsewhere. She's now dating some dude named Shane.
— Will and Emma are now living together.
— Blaine transfers to McKinley to be with Kurt, which is definitely a legitimate reason for adults to let a teenager transfer schools.
— Quinn now has pink hair, a nose ring, and a tattoo of Ryan Seacrest, and she hangs out with a group called "the skanks."
— Will bans Santana from the glee club after she sets a piano on fire.
— Lauren breaks up with Puck because glee club isn't cool anymore.
— Sugar Motta tries out for the glee club after her father donated the pianos, but Will rejects her because she can't sing. Apparently she is the first person to ever audition for the glee club who can't sing.
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Season 3, Episode 2: I Am A Unicorn (2011)
— Sugar's dad gets Shelby (Idina Menzel) hired at McKinley so she can start a new glee club for Sugar, but not even Idina Menzel can make Sugar a good singer.
— Puck and Quinn want to get close to their daughter, but Shelby won't let Quinn do that in her new "skank" state. So Quinn pretends to be back to normal, but it's really just so she can steal back custody of her baby.
— Kurt runs for class president, but he is not a fan of the pink unicorn posters Brittany made for him, so Brittany decides to use the unicorn theme for her own campaign.
— The school is doing West Side Story, but Blaine refuses to audition for Tony, believing a senior should get the role, but Kurt is apparently not masculine enough to play Tony, according to co-directors Beiste, Emma, and Artie. Kurt gets sad, regardless of everyone telling him to just be himself or whatever.
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Season 3, Episode 3: Asian F (2011)
— Mike's dad wants him to quit the glee club and break up with Tina when he gets an A-, but Mike just wants to dance, and so he does.
— Mercedes and Rachel have a diva-off for the role of Maria in West Side Story, but the directors can't decide, so they give the role to both of them. Mercedes storms out and joins Shelby's show choir instead.
— Rachel gets the role of Maria, Blaine is cast as Tony, Mike is cast as Riff, and Santana is cast as Anita, while Kurt gets to play Officer Krupke.
— Will meets Emma's parents, which is one of his requests before he proposes to Emma, and learns that they are cruel ginger supremacists.
— Rachel decides to also run for class president, which Kurt takes as a personal offence.