Sparks Fly
When you know, you know.
In the book's introduction, Jana and Mike revealed that they both said "I love you" after 10 days of knowing each other. They moved in together after three months, were engaged at six and married at 11. According to Mike, "It was a love like we never imagined."
"I jokingly said that I hoped we wouldn't be one of those couples who fight all the time," the former NFL player recalled of early on in the relationship. "In that moment—I s--t you not—we both smiled, looked into each other's eyes, and actually said to one another at the same time, 'But what will we ever fight about?'"
Claim Her Baggage
Growing up, Jana remembered her parents fighting and her mom trying to make her marriage work despite infidelity. When Jana was in ninth grade, her mom ultimately filed for divorce and her dad "started his new family faster than I could blink."
"I entered high school wanting men to pay attention to me and tell me that I was 'good enough,'" Jana wrote. "To this day, that's my biggest struggle—constantly wanting validation from men."
Claim His Baggage
Jana isn't the only person in the relationship who had some "baggage."
In The Good Fight, Mike opened up about his childhood and the effects of getting his heartbroken in high school at 16.
"The summer lovin' was over and I slowly became jaded and more selfish, reconciling this heartbreak by resolving to never let it happen again," he explained. "So I've dated only a few women in my life. Most of my relationships can be more described as 'talking to,' which essentially means we were sleeping together but I never committed enough to get my feelings involved. And when I did commit, I inevitably cheated. I couldn't be alone."
Overcoming Resentment
When Jana first met Mike, he was on his way out of the NFL after a five-year career. According to the athlete, he quickly went from being known as an NFL tight end to Jana's husband.
According to Mike, it had an affect on him. "I lost my sense of self and identity," he shared in the book. "A lot of professional athletes struggle with that transition when they retire from their athletic careers but the added layer for me was being married to a celebrity with a certain amount of notoriety. Now, I loved and still love being Jana's husband, but early in the relationship I had no idea who I was anymore."
It Takes Two
While competing on Dancing With the Stars in the fall of 2016, Jana remembered the day she got a call from her publicist warning her that Us Weekly was going to write about Mike's infidelity. The headline would be "Married to a Sex Addict."
According to Jana, she knows exactly who told the publication about her husband. "I know because when I was reading the article, there was a piece of information that I had told only ONE person," she wrote. "To make matters worse, he had been in our wedding. At the time, it felt like another kick in the gut from someone I loved and someone I thought I knew."
Pray On It
In The Good Fight, Mike opened up about his sex addiction and identified himself as a "sex addict." Before you question the validity of the term, he has a message.
"I want to be very clear about something: society has had the nerve to call sex addiction a 'married man's excuse' to which I say bull...(wait for it)...s--t," he wrote. "Addiction is not an excuse at all, and I make sure to never use it as such. However it is an explanation."
As fans may recall, Mike previously recalled on the Whine Down podcast that he sought treatment in an inpatient treatment facility. "Jana kind of gave me an ultimatum when everything came out, and she discovered everything, and she looked at me and said, 'You need to go somewhere. Basically, you need to figure out what's going on and what this is, or I'm gone, period,'" he explained.
Clean Your Side of the Streets
While she was competing on Dancing With the Stars—and separated from Mike—in the fall of 2016, Jana claimed that she had some "flings and flirts."
"I held back putting this in the book because, well, I never truly thought I did anything wrong," Jana wrote. "Correction. I knew it was wrong; I just didn't want to be the bad guy. I justified my actions in my mind just as I suppose Mike had done all along too."
As much as Jana enjoyed DWTS, she now believes it "prolonged our suffering and delayed our healing." The couple would ultimately reconcile and renew their vows in Dec. 2017
Trust the Process
After coming in fourth on Dancing With the Stars and after Mike checked into rehab for sex addition, the couple's therapist shared some advice that shocked each of them.
"She said, 'No major life changes for a year.' To which I replied, 'Are you kidding?'" Jana wrote. "She went on to say that in her experience, it's best to not make any huge life decisions for a year after a traumatic event so you have time to process all the information and to cool down."
While Jana immediately questioned how she was going to stay in the relationship for that long, she's so glad she did.
Truth
The No. 1 question Jana receives from fans is, "Do you trust Mike?" After all, the athlete has been open and honest about being unfaithful to his wife. Jana's answer, however, may surprise you.
"The answer is, 'Yes, today I do,'" she wrote. "Today I see him working his program, I see him showing up as a father and a husband, and I see his words matching his actions. How he is showing up looks different than before, which helps me trust him."
Make the Time
Jana and Mike are big advocates for knowing your love language as well as your spouses. After studying Gary Chapman's book titled The Five Love Languages, the couple shared what they identify with.
Jana's top two are physical touch and quality time while Mike's are acts of service and words of affirmation.
"If you show up for your partner and love that person using the love language she or he understands, you'll be showing a deeper appreciation for your loved one," the couple advised. "You're showing that you're willing to make that extra effort."
Start Talking
Every night, Jana and Mike do a nightly check-in they call FANOS—an abbreviation for feelings, affirmations, needs, own and sobriety.
"These check-ins set us up for success," the couple explained. "They provide a neutral ground for us to discuss whatever may be going on. We're able to set aside feelings of defensiveness and listen from a supportive, loving place. Doing them has helped us be in real time more than we ever thought we were capable of."