Erik Menendez is getting birthday wishes from afar.
Just two days after the resentencing hearing for Erik and his brother Lyle Menendez delayed, his wife Tammi Menendez, who previously shared her hopes he’d be home for his 54th birthday, paid tribute to his special day with a heartfelt note of gratitude to his supporters.
“Happy Birthday Erik!” Tammi wrote in a Nov. 27 post on X, formerly Twitter. “It is his 35th birthday in prison! Thank You to everyone around the world for the wonderful Happy Birthday videos for Erik!”
Tammi’s message is the first time she’s spoken out since Erik and Lyle’s Nov. 25 hearing, where Judge Michael Jesic ruled to postpone the brothers’ resentencing hearing from Dec. 11 to Jan. 30 and Jan. 31, to give District Attorney-elect Nathan Hochman time to review files for the case.
And while Erik and Lyle—who were arrested for the murders of their parents Jose Menendez and Mary Louise “Kitty” Menendez when they were 18 and 21 years old, respectively—were posed to make their first court appearance in 28 years at the Nov. 25 court date via webcam, a technical issue kept them from doing so.
Meanwhile, Erik and Lyle’s elderly family members—the oldest sisters of each of their parents—were permitted to testify at the recent court date, citing their health and age, despite the rescheduling.
“My feeling is 35 years is a long time, especially when you are 18 and 21,” Terracita Menendez Baralt, 85, José’s sister, testified Nov. 25, per the Los Angeles Times. “I think it’s time for them to come home.”
And Kitty’s sister Joan VanderMolen, 93, also shared a testimony, bemoaning her late sister for being a bystander to her husband’s alleged sexual abuse of Erik and Lyle.
“No child should have to endure what Erik and Lyle lived through at the hands of their father,” she said in court, per the Los Angeles Times. “It breaks my heart that my sister Kitty knew what was happening and did nothing about it, that we knew of. They never knew whether this would be the night they would be raped. It’s time for them to come home.”
Tammi has also continued to vie for her husband’s release from prison. And while Lyle’s wife Rebecca Sneed recently confirmed the couple had separated, she has advocated for her estranged husband’s release and maintains a relationship with him.
Keep reading for more about Tammi, Rebecca and other women who have supported Erik and Lyle amid their nearly 35 years of incarceration.
Anna Eriksson
Lyle Menendez, then 28, married model and salon receptionist Anna Eriksson on July 2, 1996, the day he and brother Erik Menendez were sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole for the 1989 double murder of their parents, Jose and Kitty Menendez.
Anna started writing to Lyle in 1993 during his first trial, which ended in a mistrial, and then moved to California to be near him the following year. She became a reliable presence at the months-long retrial that began in 1995 and resulted in convictions in March 1996, according to the Los Angeles Times.
They couldn't take their vows in person, however, Lyle instead taking the plunge over speaker phone, the groom in custody and the bride in the office of defense attorney Leslie Abramson.
He seemingly hoped to be able to wed Anna in person, once he knew where he'd end up.
"We do have a marriage proceeding," California Correctional Institution spokesman Lt. Jack Pitko told the LA Times in September 1996 once Lyle and Erik had been ordered to separate prisons. "There's a waiting list...But I don't see why he shouldn't be able to get married if he follows all the rules."
Anna filed for divorce in 2001 after, according to multiple reports from the time, she allegedly found out Lyle was exchanging letters with other women.
Rebecca Sneed
Lyle didn't rush into anything when he married journalist Rebecca Sneed, reportedly 33 at the time, in November 2003: He had known her for 10 years, first through letters and eventually from in-person visits, a prison spokesperson told the Associated Press in confirming the nuptials.
The ceremony took place at Mule Creek State Prison near Sacramento, where Lyle resided until he was reunited with Erik in 2018 at the Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility in southern San Diego County.
"Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life's events," Lyle told People in 2017. At the time, Rebecca was living in Sacramento and was said to visit weekly.
"We try and talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day," Lyle added. "I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy. It's a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here."
Rebecca "put up with a lot," he acknowledged. "But she has the courage to deal with the obstacles. It would be easier to leave, but I'm profoundly grateful that she doesn't."
The bloom has since come off the rose, however: Ahead of a decision on whether Lyle and Erik should be resentenced and possibly set free in the near future, Rebecca confirmed that she and Lyle are separated.
"Lyle and I have been separated for a while now but remain best friends and family," she wrote Nov. 22 on her official Facebook page. "I continue to run his Facebook pages, with input from him, and I am forever committed to the enduring fight for Lyle and Erik’s freedom, as has been so evident over the years."
She added, "I'll continue to update you all on the progress of the case because I believe we all have the common goal of seeing the guys walk free! I will never stop fighting for them."
And because tabloid rumors don't stop outside the prison gates, the post also noted, "This is NOT a cheating scandal."
Tammi Saccoman
Erik's wife Tammi Menendez, now 62, was married to Chuck Saccoman when she first spied the younger Menendez brother on TV in 1993 and felt a special place in her heart for the 22-year-old murder defendant.
As she later told People, she informed her husband she was going to write to Erik and Chuck gave her his blessing.
"I saw Tammi's letter and I felt something. I received thousands of letters, but I set this one aside. I got a feeling," Erik told the publication. "And I wrote her back. Tammi and I continued to correspond. I enjoyed writing to her. It was a slow friendship. It was special to me because it was not associated with the trial and the media. Tammi was someone not in the craziness."
However, as Tammi detailed in her 2005 book They Said We'd Never Make It: My Life With Erik Menendez, she doubted the brothers' abuse defense at first. (And she told MSNBC that Erik mentioned having a girlfriend of several years early on.)
But in 1996, as Tammi has detailed in her book and interviews, she found out that Chuck had abused her teenage daughter from a previous relationship. (They also shared a then-9-month-old daughter.)
Chuck turned himself into police and died by suicide two days later, according to People.
After Chuck died, "I reached out to Erik," she told the publication in 2005. "He comforted me. Our letters started taking on a more serious tone."
Tammi admitted she was "really nervous" when she finally met Erik in person at Folsom State Prison in August 1997.
"Erik had no idea what I looked like; I'd only sent him a tiny, 1-by-1 picture," she explained. "But when he walked into the room, he was so full of life, he hopped down the stairs. It was like I was meeting an old friend."
They married in 1999, a Twinkie serving as their wedding cake.
And they've been together ever since, though Tammi has acknowledged that the lack of conjugal visits can be tough.
"A kiss when you come in, a kiss when you leave," she described the routine on MSNBC in December 2005. 'You can hold hands and that part of it is very difficult, and people don't understand."
Erik said he tried not to think about what was then the likelihood that he would never get out of prison.
“Tammi is what gets me through," he told People in 2005. "I can't think about the sentence. When I do, I do it with a great sadness and a primal fear. I break into a cold sweat. It's so frightening I just haven't come to terms with it."
But on a more optimistic note, Tammi had also taught him "how to be a good husband," Erik said. "There is no makeup sex, only a 15-minute phone call, so you really have to try to make things work."