Regrets, Catelynn Lowell has had a few. But placing eldest daughter Carly for adoption after her 2009 birth is not among them.
The Teen Mom star just wishes she had done it her way.
"I think that I would have made the same choice, because I feel like it took her away from a lot of the traumas and things that I was going through growing up, that she shouldn't have to go through," Catelynn told E! News in an exclusive interview, referencing the hardships she endured during her childhood in Michigan. "But I would make different decisions with my choice."
As in, she and now-husband Tyler Baltierra, 33, likely wouldn't have selected North Carolina-based duo Brandon Davis and Teresa Davis as adoptive parents.
"I definitely would have picked a couple in Michigan," stressed the 32-year-old. "I would have picked a couple that wanted fully open adoption from the get-go. So there's things in my decision that I would have changed."
Because back when she was 16 and pregnant, "No adult stepped in to say, 'Hey, this is what this means,'" Catelynn recounted of the adoption experience. "Everybody just threw papers at me as a literal child, and I had to just sign them, not knowing what I was signing."
So if she were given a do-over, Catelynn continued, "I definitely would have gotten myself a lawyer so that way I could understand what I was signing."
Which is why she and Tyler—parents to daughters Nova, 10, Vaeda, 5, and Rya, 3—use their time on MTV's Teen Mom: The Next Chapter, premiering on Jan. 30 at 8 p.m., to educate others.
"I think that, culturally, adoption is only talked about in a positive light," explained Catelynn. "And so when we started talking about the hardships that we have and the emotions that we go through that are hard, people came at us and they were like, 'What do you mean? You should be grateful.' And it's like, well, adoption isn't just all cupcakes and rainbows. There's trauma, there is hurt, there's sadness, there's what-ifs, there's so many hard sides of it too."
Take, for instance, her current relationship with Carly's parents.
Four months after Catelynn revealed her phone number had been blocked, "They definitely have 100 percent closed the adoption," she shared. "I'm still blocked and they recently told me to quit sending gifts because it was inappropriate and uncalled for, just a whole bunch of things."
The experience has led her "down some major black holes the past few months," Catelynn acknowledged. "And I did realize that there was so much about adoptees, the statistics of adoptees, statistics of birth parents, and things that I was not educated about or even told about. And I think that’s what upset me the most was, nobody fully educated me on the whole scope of the decision that I was making."
So, she and her husband of nine years can't stop, won't stop talking about their adoption journey.
"I feel like now it's a duty of mine to speak about the real stuff that adoptees go through, because they're the ones who are the most important and the most affected," Catelynn explained, "and people need to know, if you're making a decision for your child, these are things that they can struggle with. And I wasn't told any of that, so I feel blindsided by a lot of it as I'm getting older. It's just really hard."
And yet, she's determined to keep on swimming.
Though their relationship is largely nonexistent at the moment, "We've asked her parents and continue to do so, 'Is it Carly not wanting contact?'' Catelynn noted. "Because if it's Carly not wanting contact, it would hurt, but we would understand and say, 'Hey, if you ever want to have it, we're here and we totally understand that all of this could be hard for you.'"
That being said, she continued, "If it's just her parents acting out of fear, it's my duty as a birth mom to show this child that I'm continuously fighting for communication, because that's what's ultimately the best for her, if that's what she wants."
Because at the end of the day, she stressed, Carly's desires are the only ones that truly matter.
Her hope is that her future relationship with Carly "is whatever she wants," said Catelynn. "Whether she just wants a relationship with her biological siblings, if she wants to have a relationship with us, awesome. If she doesn't, totally understand. Whatever that looks like for her. Because it needs to be adoptee-centered."
Though, of course, the MTV star takes the feelings of her other daughters into account as well.
While Catelynn acknowledged she and Tyler have been "very open and honest" with her girls, she does worry about how they're impacted by Carly's absence.
"That's another thing you're not educated about," said Catelynn. "Nobody tells you how it's going to affect your children you decide to parent one day, and that's hard."
Still, they find ways to celebrate their eldest. "We have pictures of Carly all over our house," said Catelynn. "It's just normal for them."
And, of course, for the Michigan-based fam, life's highs greatly outnumber the lows. Keep reading to experience the Baltierra clan's sweetest moments.
Snow Fun
Do you want to build a snowman? Just ask Tyler Balitierra and his three daughters Nova, Vaeda and Rya—who he shares with Teen Mom's Catelynn Lowell—as they headed out for some winter fun in 2024.
Young Parents
In 2009, Catelyn and Tyler welcomed daughter Carly, who they placed in an open adaption.
Biggest Cheerleaders
The couple cheered on their daughter Nova at a cheerleading competition in 2023.
Christmas Time
Nova, Vaeda and Rya all gathered under the Christmas tree in 2023.
Father-Daughter Time
"I can't believe how fast she's growing," Tyler shared on Instagram when celebrating Nova's last day of school in 2019. "Watching her grow up is the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed & being her father is literally a dream come true! She's growing into such a beautiful, independent & fierce little girl & I can't wait to see what next year holds for her!"
Kisses for Days
There's nothing quite like a sibling bond. Fortunately, Catelynn captured this candid moment between Nova and Vaeda on social media in 2019.
Dad's Best Friends
"Blessed beyond belief that I had these 2 beautiful girls under my arms for date night last night!" Tyler shared on Instagram in 2019 after enjoying a quite night in.
Sisterly Bond
When celebrating Carly's 10th birthday in 2019, Tyler shared a special photo of his eldest daughter he placed up for adoption with his wife with their daughter Nova.
"10 years ago...your life changed so many others for the better & has blessed more lives than I can count, " he wrote. "We love you so much & hopefully get to see you soon baby girl. Happy Birthday Carly! #Adoption."
Nova and Me
How is it being a big sister to Vaeda? Based on this photo, life is pretty darn sweet!
Big Sister Duties
"The love I have for these girls is SO unbelievably HUGE!!" Catelynn wrote on Instagram in 2019. "I'm so blessed to be the mommy to them!!!"
In Awe
Tyler, Catelynn and Nova all look on in fascination at fireworks on July 4, 2017.