Anna Sitar is reflecting on a vulnerable chapter in her career.
The TikToker, who’s known for her comedic videos on the platform, tearfully opened up about her rise on social media while responding to a since-deleted video that encourages users to reveal why they unfollowed certain content creators.
“I’ve been doing this career for five years now and I wake up, every single morning, and think that I’m horrible at my job,” Anna explained in her July 29 TikTok video. “I genuinely don’t understand how I got here or why anybody likes me in the first place.”
The 28-year-old—who went viral on TikTok for her Starbucks order series in 2020—noted the recent criticism she’s received about her personality hits home, as it reflects the words she’s “said to myself or about myself in my own head.”
“It feels horribly validating to the imposter that I believe that I am all the time,” she continued. “I’ve been going to therapy for two years about an array of topics, but a major one centering this idea that I am failing if I don’t show up for the people in my life in the way that they expect me to. That I’ll do whatever it takes to make people happy and joyful—even if it’s not healthy for me or my mental health.”
And in response, the Anna’s Guide podcast host revealed that she’s “been trying to focus on putting myself on the bottom of the priority list.” But still, she grapples with the idea that she’s “letting people down” when she’s not meeting their expectations.
“This comment section is really hitting a soft spot in me that it’s a bunch of people that I let down…that they expected me to be something and I wasn’t that,” she expressed. “That hurts, and that makes me mad at myself. It makes me disappointed in myself.”
She echoed that sentiment in the caption of her TikTok, where she reiterated that she wanted to make her followers “smile” and “make ur world have a little more sunshine.”
Indeed, that lighthearted vibe has followed much of Anna’s content on social media. And while she normally doesn’t respond to harmful comments, she knows her supporters will be there for her.
“I just wanted my community to be a safe space for people,” she told E! News in 2021. “And if there ever is any floating negativity in the comment section, it's so incredible to see people step up. I don't even have to handle my hate comments anymore.”