Teresa Giudice is still struggling to come to terms with her decision to quit season four of Special Forces: World's Toughest Test.
After withdrawing from Fox's intense reality TV competition during the Oct. 2 episode—and on day two of the journey no less—The Real Housewives of New Jersey star admitted it wasn't an easy decision to walk away.
"It took everything in me to leave," Teresa told People in an interview published Oct. 7, "it really did."
Teresa hit her breaking point when her daughter Gia Giudice had to participate in milling, a physical combat exercise in which two opponents have to aggressively punch each other in the head to test their courage and endurance.
Despite not wanting to be present to see the 24-year-old get roughed up, Teresa was confident Gia could handle her own.
"I knew she was going to be okay," the 53-year-old noted. "I know my kid, so I knew she was going to be fine."
But that didn't mean that Teresa's heart didn't break when she left Gia in Morocco to continue on in the competition.
"[I] cried that whole night," the Bravolebrity admitted. "I cried going home in the airport. Even when I got home, I was crying."
Teresa even recounted how concerned her husband Luis "Louie" Ruelas was upon her return home stateside.
"My husband was like, ‘What's wrong with you?’" Teresa revealed. "And I was just so upset."
"I wasn't myself until Gia came home," the Skinny Italian author continued. "I really wasn't. Even Luis said, he's like, 'I feel like you've changed.' He's like, 'What happened to you?' I was like, 'Yeah, it took a lot out of me. It really did.'"
Teresa even admitted to briefly regretting her decision to leave the show, adding of the possibility of returning to boot camp, "I would, but then they're not going to take you back."
"I was having second thoughts," she admitted, "but then, like I said, we had discussions and there was a lot of stuff that we talked about. So, I was thinking, my mom instinct, I'm always a mom first, and I always want to try to set good examples for my children. So, that's what always comes in my mind. I'm always a mom first."
As for how Gia handled her mom's untimely exit?
"I explained to her why I left, and she totally got it," Teresa shared, adding, "I'm so grateful for the experience to do this with Gia. It is something that we both will never forget."
See how the rest of the cast fares when Special Forces: World's Toughest Test airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on Fox. And keep reading to see the 15 celebs still competing this season.
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Brittany Cartwright: Quit Day 1
TV Personality
Eva Marcille: Discharged Day 2
Actress & Model
Teresa Giudice: Quit Day 2
TV Personality
Jussie Smollett: Medically Withdrawn Day 3
Actor/Singer
Johnny Manziel: Quit Day 4
Heisman Winner and Former NFL Quarterback
Nick Young: Quit Day 5
NBA Champion
Ravi V. Patel: Quit Day 5
Actor
Chanel Iman: Withdrawn Day 6
Supermodel
Eric Decker: Medically Withdrawn Day 6
Former NFL Player
Jessie James Decker: Quit Day 6
Country Music Artist
Mark Estes: Medically Withdrawn Day 7
Internet Personality
Christie Pearce Rampone: Medically Withdrawn Day 7
World Cup and Olympic Soccer Champion
Gia Giudice
TV Personality
Kody Brown
TV Personality
Andrew East
Former NFL Player
Shawn Johnson
Olympic Gymnastics Gold Medalist
Brianna "Chickenfry" LaPaglia
Internet Personality
Randall Cobb
NFL Pro Bowler