On Private Jets
"You know, the problem with private jets is that even if you have a big one, if you have many people [aboard], then it is a nightmare. More than three or four, forget about it. I remember I came back from Moscow and brought all my assistants. It was the worst flight, because they asked for drinks and this and that. I like to sleep in planes. Or I close my eyes and clean my brain."
On Fur
"I hate the idea of killing animals in a horrible way, but I think all that improved a lot. I think a butcher shop is even worse. It's like visiting a murder. It's horrible, no? So I prefer not to know it."
On Critics
"There are not too many people with an opinion I care for...I'm not crazy to discuss fashion with men. I couldn't care less about their opinion."
On Selfies:
"They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is electronic masturbation." (This, despite having installed photo booths in his London store.)
On Beautiful People:
"I'm surrounded by young and beautiful people. I hate looking at ugliness."
On Having Kids:
"I never wanted to have children. Because if a child didn't do as well as me, I wouldn't have loved it, and if did better than me I wouldn't have loved it either."
On His Famous Dark Shades:
"I never go out without my notorious dark glasses. I like to see, not to be observed."
On His Humility:
"I'm very much down to earth, just not this earth."
On His Cat, Choupette:
"She is like a kept woman. She has a strong personality. She has lunch and dinner with me on the table, with her own food. She doesn't touch my food. She doesn't want to eat on the floor. She sleeps under a pillow and she even knows how to use an iPad."
On Tattoos:
"I think tattoos are horrible. It's like living in a Pucci dress full-time. If you're young and tight, maybe it's OK, but…"
On Weight Loss:
"It was a very good, healthy thing, the best move in my life, I think, but it's totally effortless. I only like what I'm allowed to like. I'm beyond temptation. There is no weakness. When I see tons of food in the studio, for us and for everybody, for me it's as if this stuff was made out of plastic. The idea doesn't even enter my mind that a human being could put that into their mouth. I'm like the animals in the forest. They don't touch what they cannot eat."
On Food:
"I don't need to shop for food because I never eat."
On His Expensive Taste:
"When I was 4, I asked my mother for a valet for my birthday."
On the Middleton Sisters:
"Kate Middleton has a nice silhouette. I like that kind of woman, I like romantic beauties. On the other hand, the sister [Pippa Middleton] struggles. I don't like the sister's face. She should only show her back."
On His Feelings After a Fashion Show:
"I'm a kind of fashion nymphomaniac who never gets an orgasm."
On Intellectual Conversations:
"I hate intellectual conversation with intellectuals because I only care about my opinion."
On Sweatpants:
"Jogging pants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life, so you bought some jogging pants."
Read more at http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/suzannah-ramsdale/543133/he-said-what-karl-lagerfeld-s-most-memorable-quotes.html#wjVptQGCqCc77xzI.99
On Unattractive People:
"Life is not a beauty contest, some [ugly people] are great. What I hate is nasty, ugly people. The worst is ugly short men. Women can be short, but for men it is impossible. It is something that they will not forgive in life—they are mean and they want to kill you."