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Nashville (ABC)
What It's About: The country music biz based in—you guessed it—Nashville, Tennessee. Rayna Jaymes (Connie Britton) is the queen of country music, and Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere) used to be her competition. They were on the same label—Rayna's—until Juliette left for Rayna's ex-fiance Luke Wheeler's (Will Chase) label instead, and now Juliette is in rehab after suffering post-partum depression and on the verge of splitting from husband Avery (Jonathan Jackson). There's also drama between talented-but-still-not-famous Scarlett O'Connor (Clare Bowen) and Gunnar Scott (Sam Palladio), newly out-of-the-closet cowboy Will Lexington (Chris Carmack), and his former beard/wife Layla Grant (Aubrey Peeples), who's mourning the death of her boyfriend/Juliette's manager, Jeff Fordham (Oliver Hudson).
Words to Know: "Highway 65" = Rayna's still-struggling record label. "Markus Keen" = Rayna's newest artist, a former rock star who heads to Nashville to find a new sound. "Bluebird café" = the small music lounge where all the big country stars got their start.
Thing to Say: "I hope Avery and Juliette can make it work!" or "Rayna belongs with Deacon, I'm so glad he's come so far in his sobriety!" or "Why haven't we seen record execs pounce on Scarlett and Gunnar as a singing/songwriting duo yet?!? That's been many seasons in the making."
Episode to Watch: "Can't Get Used to Losing You," a.k.a. the one where Juliette's post-partum depression comes to a head, culminating with Jeff's accidental death. Talk about drama!
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NCIS (CBS)
What It's About: The Naval Criminal Investigative Service is led by Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon) and investigates crimes done within the navy. The mega-hit series has two spinoffs: NCIS: LA and NCIS: New Orleans.
Words to Know: "MCRT" = Major Case Reponse Team. "Tiva" = the fan pairing for Tony (Michael Weatherly) and Ziva (Cote de Pablo). Ziva has since left the show. (It still hurts!)
Things to Say: "I miss Ziva." "Gibbs is my hero."
Episode to Watch: "Twenty Klicks," the season 12 premiere. It's best to stay current when it comes to this one!
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New Girl (Fox)
What It's About: Jess (Zooey Deschanel) lives with four wacky guys: 1. Nick (Jake Johnson), the guy she'll end up with. 2. Winston (Lamorne Morris), the weirdo cat lover. 3. Coach (Damon Wayans Jr.), the old roommate who came back. 4. Schmidt (Max Greenfield), the raging metrosexual who is in love with Jess' best friend, Cece (Hannah Simone)…and her boobs.
Words to Know: "True American" = a ridiculous drinking game they play. "Ferguson" = Winston's currently-MIA cat.
Thing to Say: "I can't wait for it to finally come back!" or "Nick and Jess are so gonna end up together!" or "It's going to be so weird when Jess is missing while Zooey was on maternity leave and Megan Fox moves in!"
Episode to Watch: "Background Check," a bottle episode in season four, which finds the gang trying to hide a bag of crystal meth. New Girl at its zaniest and finest.
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Once Upon a Time (ABC)
What It's About: All your favorite Disney movie characters in one little town called Storybrooke, led by sheriff and "savior" Emma (Jennifer Morrison). She's the daughter of Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Prince Charming (Josh Dallas), who seem to be her age due to the fact that they were previously frozen in time and cursed to forget who they really were. Emma has a son named Henry (Jared Gilmore). Henry's adopted mother is Formerly-Evil Queen Regina (Lana Parilla), and his paternal grandfather is Rumplestiltskin (Robert Carlyle). It's very complicated.
Words to Know: "Captain Swan" = The very popular Emma and Captain Hook ship. "Dark Swan" = Emma, after letting the darkness into her at the end of season four. "Nimue" = Merlin's true love and the original Dark One
Things to Say: "Keeping track of the Camelot scenes and the Storybrooke scenes is giving me a headache." and "That thought of more Captain Swan kisses is basically the only thing keeping me alive."
Episode to Watch: "The Dark Swan" will give you the set-up you need to understand season five, introducing you to OUAT's version of Camelot.
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Orange Is the New Black (Netflix)
What It's About: Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) goes to prison for her involvement with her ex-girlfriend's (Laura Prepon) drug smuggling…only to find said ex-girlfriend in the same prison! Locked up she meets a ton of colorful characters including a former drug addict (Natasha Lyonne), a Russian badass (Kate Mulgrew) and of course Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba).
Words to Know: "Dandelion" = Crazy Eyes' pet name for Piper. "SHU"= Solitary Housing Unit, aka where you get sent for violating the rules. "Shot" = a written violation.
Thing to Say: "I'll be so mad if we never see Nicky again." or "Piper as a prison kingpin is terrifying." or "Alex better make it out of the greenhouse alive!"
Fun fact: Katie Holmes could've been Piper! But of course she's not.
Episode to Watch: "A Whole Other Hole" tells the Lorna Morello's (Yael Stone) backstory and also features the ladies learning about their private parts. Laughs and tears, Orange Is the New Black's specialty.
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The Originals (The CW)
What It's About: A spinoff of The Vampire Diaries that focuses on the original family of vampires, but mostly Klaus (Joseph Morgan), who had a baby with a werewolf, Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin), and his brother Elijah (Daniel Gillies), who is in love with Hayley. Together, they battle for control of New Orleans against wolves, witches and humans. Oh, and they have some serious issues with their parents, Mikael (Sebastian Roche) and Esther (played by various actresses due to her witchy woo-woo).
Words to Know: "Hybrid" = vampire + werewolf, which Klaus and Hayley are. "White Oak Stake" = the only thing that can kill an Original vampire.
Things to Say: "Wow, those flashback wigs are really something, right?" or "But where's Kol?" Or "I really miss Rebekah."
Fun Fact: EPs introduced Hayley on Vampire Diaries, already knowing she would be crossing over to the new show.
Episode to Watch: "You Hung the Moon," the second episode of the current third season, which nicely introduces the latest life-or-death plotline: a prophecy that could mean the death of every single vampire ever created (including the ones on The Vampire Diaries)!
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Orphan Black (BBC America)
What It's About: Tatiana Maslany plays no less than seven characters on this weird-in-the-best-way drama. The three you gotta know? Sarah, our damaged heroine, Cosima, the brainy sick one, and Allison, the boozy soccer mom. Aiding her in this epic and weird sci-fi journey are her foster brother, the delightfully eccentric Felix (Jordan Gavaris), and her handler-turned-lover, Paul aka Hot Paul (Dylan Bruce). (RIP, Hot Paul.)
Words to Know: "Clone Club" = the name for the show's fanbase, and "Seestra" = how the crazy clone, Helena, says sister.
Fun Fact: Maslany came up with the idea and look for Tony the trans-clone in season two.
Episode to Watch: "History Yet to Be Written," the season three finale that saw each of the clones and their loved ones sit down to dinner before Sarah took off to Iceland to find her daughter, Kira.
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Outlander (Starz)
What It's About: An English nurse (Claire Randall, played by Caitriona Balfe) is transported from 1945 to 1743 Scotland, where she is eventually forced to marry the world's hottest man (Jamie Fraser, played by Sam Heughan). They have a lot of hot sex (seriously, don't watch this show with your parents or children), but they also encounter some truly horrific and unspeakable things thanks to the world's worst man – the English Captain Black Jack Randall (Tobias Menzies), who also happens to be the ancestor of Claire's husband in 1945.
Words to Know: "Sassenach" = a slang word for a misplaced person, becomes Jamie's affectionate nickname for Claire; "Craigh na Dun" = the location of the circle of stones that transported Claire back in time
Things to Say: "Oh my god, that wedding episode!" should be enough to send any fan into a spiral of happiness.
Episode to Watch: "Both Sides Now:" Watch "The Wedding" if you've got time for some well-written lady porn, but the subsequent episode and midseason finale is where things really get going, in the most horrific way.
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Person of Interest (CBS)
What It's About: Government surveillance! A billionaire named Harold Finch (Michael Emerson) develops a machine that can predict violent crimes, so he and former CIA agent John Reese (Jim Caviezel) track down the people who will be involved. It's kind of like Minority Report, except not.
Words to Know: "The Machine": Finch created the machine to predict crimes; its predictions come in the form of coded social security numbers of people involved in said crimes. "Samaritan": Similar to the Machine, created by one of Finch's former classmates to go against the Machine.
Things to Say: "The show hasn't been the same since Carter (Taraji P. Henson) died." "This show got so cool when it went full sci-fi."
Episode to Watch: "The Crossing": Fans lost their minds over this season 3 episode when Carter was killed off.
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Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family)
What It's About: Four teenage girls—Aria (Lucy Hale), Hanna (Ashley Benson), Emily (Shay Mitchell), and Spencer (Troian Bellisario)—find their lives totally changed after their friend Alison (Sasha Pieterse) goes missing, seems to be dead, but then also seems to be stalking them and threatening to reveal their secrets through texts, emails, and other messages signed "A." Lots of people have been A or have seemed to be A, but we finally know A was CeCe, aka Charlotte, aka Charles DiLaurentis. Yep.
Words to Know: "Bethany Young" = the girl who was actually buried in Alison's grave. "Mona Vanderwaal" = a former geek friend of Alison's who was seemingly killed by A at the end of the season 5 midseason finale. (Spoiler: She wasn't.)
Things to Say: "I can't believe CeCe was Charles." or "I've never been more ready for a time jump ever."
Episode to Watch: "Game Over, Charles": The reason everything happened on this whole series is explained in the season five midseason finale, preparing us for the time jump to come.
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Quantico (ABC)
What It's About: The time-jumping tale of new FBI recruit Alex Parrish (Priyanka Chopra) who's suspected of a terrorist attack and must clear her name in present day and working through the FBI academy at Quantico alongside her fellow sexy recruits in flashbacks. The FBI is certain the traitor is one of the recruits in Alex's class, so if not her, then who?
Words to Know: "NATs" = How Alex and the others are constantly referred to. Stands for new agent trainees. "Nimah & Raina" = Twin NATs (played by Yasmine Al Massri) who are training as just one person.
Things to Say: "It's about time we get some real answers." or "How did the FBI let this many recruits with this many secrets in?"
Episode to Watch: The pilot. With as many twists and turns as this thing takes, you'll want to start at the beginning.
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Reign (The CW)
What It's About: Adelaide Kane stars as Mary, Queen of Scots, in the historical-accuracy-be-damned-just-look-at-these-pretty-dresses drama, and focused on her marriage to Francis (Toby Regbo) as they try to rule France and produce an heir. His mother, Catheine (Megan Follows), ghosts, bsatard children, unruly royals and romance tend to get in the way.
Words to Know: "Frary" = the shipper name for Mary and Francis (Toby Regbo), and "Protestants" and "Catholics" = season two is all about the civil unrest in France due to the religious tension.
Things to Say: "Is it wrong that I want Lola to hook up with Narcisse?" or "I want to be Queen Catherine when I grow up." or "With Francis dead, should the show wrap up too?"
Fun Fact: Producers originally wanted Private Practice's Kate Walsh to play Mary's mother. After she was unavailable, her PP costar Amy Brenneman, whose husband Brad Silberling, is a producer and director on the show, stepped in.
Episode to Watch: Season three's "In a Clearing," where history and fiction finally met and Francis met his demise. Nothing will ever be the same.
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Scandal (ABC)
What It's About: Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) is a fixer. She previously worked at the White House under President Fitzgerald Grant (Tony Goldwyn)…and she under him in more ways than one! Throughout the five seasons the very married Fitz and Olivia have been on and off, hot and cold, you get it. When she's not helping political heavy hitters deal with scandals (get it), she's investigating bigger conspiracies, including one involving her dad and a secret government agency. When she's not with Fitz, or talking about being with Fitz, she's standing in the sun and eating burgers with Jake (Scott Foley).
Words to Know: "Vermont"= Fitz and Olivia talking about having a future together out of the public eye. "Smelly Mellie"= a phase Mellie Grant (Bellamy Young) went through when her son was killed. "OPA"= Olivia Pope and Associates, Olivia's fixing firm.
Thing to Say: "Drunk Mellie is my favorite kind of Mellie." or "It's handled." or "More wine?"
Episode to Watch: "White Hat's Back On," the season two finale, features all the twists and turns Scandal is known for. Oh, and "Baby, It's Cold Outside," the midseason finale that featured Olivia having an abortion and sparked a huge online discussion.
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Scream Queens (Fox)
What It's About: A serial killer is hunting the members of the Kappa Kappa Tau sorority at Wallace University, a sorority with a dark secret in its part. No one is safe, not from the killer nor from Kappa president Chanel Oberlin's (Emma Roberts) acidic, hysterical tongue.
Words to Know: "Red Devil" = The killer (or killers) stalking the crazies on campus. "Dickie Dollar Scholars" = the douchetastic frat boys led by campus stud Chad Radwell (the showstopping Glen Powell). "Dean Munsch" = Jamie Lee Curtis' dean of students whose got an ax to grind with the Kappa house.
Things to Say: "When is the show finally going to kill a main character?" or "Glen Powell is one of the greatest finds of this season." or "This feels like the role Emma Roberts was born to play."
Episode to Watch: "Chainsaw" only because the brawl between the Dickie Dollar Scholars and two Red Devils set to the Backstreet Boys encapsulates everything good about this show.
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Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
What It's About: A time-traveling Revolutionary War vet, Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison), and a small-town lieutenant, Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie), are actually Witnesses, set to fight against the apocalypse, who rock an X-Files' Mulder and Scully dynamic. After getting past Ichabod's demented family history, he and Abbie are now fighting off Pandora and her box.
Words to Know: "Ichabbie" = Ichabod and Abbie shippers. "Yolanda" = Ichabod's On-Star friend. "Leftenant" = what Ichabod calls Abbie.
Thing to Say: "It's not that I wanted Ichabod to cheat on his wife, I just really want him to hook up with Abbie," or "Is Abbie really dead after sacrificing herself to save Ichabod?"
Fun Fact: Before finding the gem that is Tom Mison, the powers that be were looking for an American Ichabod Crane.
Episode to Watch: "Bad Blood," the season one finale, which was the very definition of epic. So. Good.
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Supergirl (CBS)
What It's About: Superman's cousin Kara Zor-El (Melissa Benoist) is also on Earth, protecting National City from a bevy of alien beings from Krypton intent on doing harm, while assisting adoptive sister Alex Danvers (Chyler Leigh) at the Department of Extra-Normal Operations.
Words to Know: "Astra" = Kara's biological aunt (played by Laura Benati) who plots to rule Earth and destroy Kara as revenge against her mother. "CatCo" = the media conglomerate where Kara works as assistant to its founder, Cat Grant (Calista Flockhart).
Things to Say: "It's about time we got a female superhero series!" or "When are Kara and James Olsen (Mehcad Brooks) going to kiss already?"
Episode to Watch: "Fight or Flight," the series' third episode and the first to include a chat between Supergirl and Cat Grant, one that leads to the world learning she's Superman's cousin.
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Supernatural (The CW)
What It's About: Two brothers driving across the country in a black muscle car, saving people, hunting things…the family business. When things go bump in the night, Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) are there to take them out. But after 10 seasons, they've both died, gone to hell, heaven, purgatory, and every other dimension you could think of, and they've got the scars—both physical and emotional and mental—to prove it.
Words to Know: "King of Hell" = the crossroads demon Crowley worked his way up the corporate ladder to become the ruler of all demons. "Mark of Cain" = Dean received the Mark from Cain himself in order to kill the big bad Abaddon last season, but it's affecting him in major ways, making him a demon earlier this season and urging him to kill now that he's back to being a human. "Men of Letters" = Sam and Dean's paternal family come from a long line of scholars who studied and researched all kinds of supernatural phenomenon. They all died out, leaving the bunker filled with records and supernatural objects to Sam and Dean, finally giving them a home base. "Destiel" = the shipper name rabid fans have given the bond between Dean and his angel friend Castiel—though some fans believe the two men are actually in love.
Thing to Say: "I miss the case-of-the-week format from the earlier seasons!" or "I love how this season is telling more personal stories about Sam, Dean, Crowley and Castiel." or "I can't wait for Cain to return to finally help Dean out with the Mark!"
Episode to Watch: "Fan Fiction," or the 200th episode of the CW series. This meta look at the entire series is a great catch up on all the fan-favorite characters and stories in one simple episode. Plus, it's all about one of the longest and greatest running gags of the show: the prophet Chuck Shirley's books (the Winchester Gospels) about the brothers! Many fans believe Chuck is actually God, and thanks to the final scene of this episode, we're believers, too!
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Teen Wolf (MTV)
What It's About: A teenager, Scott McCalll (Tyler Posey), becomes a werewolf. Creepy-yet-usually-fun ijinks ensue, as he, along with human sidekick and fan favorite Stiles (Dylan O'Brien), brooding big brother/mentor Derek (Tyler Hoechlin), resident banshee (Holland Roden), GF/kitsune Kira (Arden Cho), werecoyote Malia (Shelley Hennig) and others battle supernatural forces terrorizing Beacon Hills. Also, a lot of lacrosse is played, and Michael J. Fox does not appear.
Words to Know: "Wolfsbane" = wolves' kryptonite, "Alpha" = werewolf leader (Scott's the Alpha now!) and it's worth doing a quick Google search of what various wolf eye colors mean.
Thing to Say: "I still miss [Alison/Aiden/Alison's mom" or "Where's Danny?!" or "I wonder what Jackson is up to in London?"
Episode to Watch: "Insatiable" in season three, because it featured the show's biggest and most heartbreaking death to date. RIP, Alison (Crystal Reed)!
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The Vampire Diaries (The CW)
What It's About: Elena (Nina Dobrev) is a high school girl who dates two brothers who happen to be vampires—not the sparkly kind—and who look a lot like teen heartthrobs Paul Wesley and Ian Somerhalder. After four seasons, she eventually becomes a vampire herself, making her character slightly less annoying. Now she's somewhere in a coffin with her life tied to Bonnie, so that as long as Bonnie is alive, she's asleep in the Salvatore family tomb. Awkward!
Words to Know: "Delena" = Damon and Elena. "Stelena" = Stefan and Elena. "Klaroline" = the crossover shipper name for Caroline (Candice Accola) and The Originals' Klaus (Joseph Morgan). Oh, and "Doppelganger" = a thing there used to be a lot of.
Thing to Say: "The show isn't the same without Elena." or "What is going on in those flashforwards to three years later?"
Fun Fact: Well, this isn't exactly fun, but the CW originally wanted Ashlee Simpson for the role of Elena Gilbert. Seriously. Oh, and Zach Roerig turned down the role of Tyler, choosing to play Matt instead!
Episode to Watch: "Day One of Twenty-Two Thousand, Give or Take," the first episode of season seven, which resets the series following Nina Dobrev's departure and refocuses the action on the brothers Salvatore.
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The Walking Dead (AMC)
What It's About: Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) leads a group of really dirty and sweaty zombie apocalypse survivors. They include badasses Daryl Dixon (Norman Reedus) and his crossbow, Michonne (Danai Gurira) and her sword and Carol (Melissa McBride) and her ability to do what needs to be done.
Words to Know: "Walkers" = zombie. "Where's Carl?" = a question that was asked for about three seasons by Rick and his (now dead) wife Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies) about their son, Carl (Chandler Riggs).
Thing to Say: "I knew Glenn wasn't dead." or "I don't understand how Glenn isn't dead."
Episode to Watch: "Days Gone Bye," the first episode of the series that sets it all up or "Thank You," the now-infamous Glenn (Steven Yeun) episode.
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The 100 (The CW)
What It's About: Set 97 years in the future, this post-apocalyptic series is darker than we'd ever thought the CW could get. What's left of the human race is on a space station called the Ark, but it's failing, so as a last-ditch attempt to save themselves they send 100 juvenile delinquents down to a nuclear war-ravaged Earth to see if humans can once again live on the ground without dying of radiation. But what they don't realize is that not all humans died on the ground, and the 100 teens are about to embark on a journey of survival unlike anything they've ever had to experience before. Thinks of this show as Battlestar Galactica meets Lord of the Flies meets Firefly meets Lost.
Words to Know: "Grounders" = the humans who survived on the ground and live a primitive lifestyle…but are badass warriors. "Bellarke" = the shipper name for the 100's two leaders Bellamy and Clarke, who butt heads but appreciate the other's strengths. "Mountain Men" = the technologically advanced but morally bankrupt group of people who create and control the Reapers, who are the stuff of nightmares and the true villains of the show.
Thing to Say: "I can't believe how much the show changed after the first three episodes, because then all the romantic nonsense is forgotten and the true story of war and survival begins." or "That Mount Weather white room reveal had me going crazy all summer long!" or "Bellamy and Clarke need to hook up, stat."
Episode to Watch: "We Are Grounders," parts one and two, because this two-hour season finale took everything we thought we knew about the people living on the ground and tossed it all out. We finally understood why the Grounders feared the "Mountain Men" so much, what the Reapers were capable of, and if the adults on the Ark were going to survive the trip down to the ground.