Glee: An Extensive Timeline
We all know what's coming up in the first hour of tonight's two hour series finale of the greatest musical high school series to ever grace our televisions: A brand new flashback to 2009, when a bunch of misfit teenagers met up for the first time to make their dreams come true through song.
We could never have imagined the ride we would then be taken on, through and beyond the halls of McKinley High. There were twists, there were turns, there was love, there was confusion, there were eye rolls, there were tears, there were a few times we straight up stopped watching, and there was singing. A lot of singing.
We'd be impressed to find a soul who could truly recall all of the madness of the past six years, so we're here to help you. Let us take a journey all the way back to 2009, when a teenager named Rachel Berry was about to change her entire life, and also the face of television, forever…
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Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot (2009)
— Rachel gets Sandy Ryerson fired for being inappropriate with a student, so Spanish teacher/Justin Timberlake-wannabe Will Schuester asks if he can run the glee club.
— Will hears Finn singing in the shower, so he plants marijuana in his locker to blackmail him into joining the glee club. Thus begins the show's long tradition of Will being creepy and of people blackmailing each other.
— Will's wife Terri announces that she's pregnant, and therefore Will must get a better-paying job so she can afford more Christmas closets.
— The New Directions sing "Don't Stop Believing" for the first time, and we could have never guessed how tired of it we would eventually become.
— Glee club initially consists of: Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt, Artie, Tina, and Finn.
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Season 1, Episode 2: Showmance (2009)
— It's the first time Figgins says he'll cut the glee club if they don't win sectionals, and it's the only time that ever felt like a real threat.
— Will raps for the first time, and the last time, if you ask the fast-forward button on our remote.
— Terri finds out she isn't pregnant but does not tell Will, confirming our suspicions that she's the worst.
— Rachel and Finn kiss for the first time, despite the fact that he's dating mean cheerleader Quinn, but he runs away when things get a bit too...steamy.
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Season 1, Episode 3: Acafellas (2009)
— Will, who still seems to think he's the main character, starts an all-male acapella group with several dudes who are no longer on the show.
— Victor Garber shows up as Will's dad, and then we immediately forget that that ever happened.
— Cheerios coach Sue Sylvester enlists her three top cheerleaders, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany, to infiltrate the glee club in order to destroy it for some reason.
— New Directions briefly hires rival club Vocal Adrenaline's choreographer, named Dakota Stanley, in a subplot that we do not have any recollection of.
— Kurt comes out to Mercedes after a bunch of nonsense where Mercedes flirts with Kurt and then believes they are dating. He tries to reject her kindly, but she still busts the windows out of his car, if only to have an excuse to sing "Bust Your Windows."
— Sandy says the line "Who is Josh Groban? KILL YOURSELF." Josh Groban shows up to give Sandy a cease and desist letter.
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Season 1, Episode 4: Preggers (2009)
— Kurt lies to his dad that he's the kicker on the football team and that he's dancing to Beyonce for football-related purposes, becomes the kicker on the football team, and then teaches the football team how to dance to Beyonce.
— Quinn is pregnant, and convinces Finn that he's the father, despite the fact that the closest they've come to having sex is Finn ejaculating next to Quinn in a hottub. Puck is the actual father, because he and Quinn actually had sex. This is why sex education is important, people!
— Terri offers to take Quinn's baby off her hands for her, making us think that perhaps she and Will "Shower Creeper" Schuester might actually be made for each other.
— Sue blackmails Figgins into giving Sandy a job as arts director so that he will cast Rachel in the school play and take her away from the glee club
— Puck, Mike, and Matt all join the glee club after enjoing Kurt's dance routine so much.
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Season 1, Episode 5: The Rhodes Not Taken (2009)
— Will brings in Kristen Chenoweth as a former McKinley student to take over Rachel's solo, but she ends up getting Kurt drunk and sleeping with half the football team. In the end, Rachel comes back to save the day with zero rehearsal!
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Season 1, Episode 6: Vitamin D (2009)
— Terri becomes temporary school nurse and drugs all the glee club kids with Sudafed and they all act like they're on something real
— Terri also convinces Ken Tanaka to propose to Emma, and then coninces Emma to say yes, because she's threatened by Will and Emma's mutual yet unspoken love for each other, and she's also awful.
— Quinn says Terri can adopt her baby.
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Season 1, Episode 7: Throwdown (2009)
— Finn wants to name the baby Drizzle.
— Sue, the glee club's new co-director, forms her own branch made up of only minorities.
— Terri and her sister blackmail her OB/GYN into helping them trick Will. There is no other show on TV with this much blackmail happening.
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Season 1, Episode 8: Mash-Up (2009)
— Rachel and Puck have a fling because Puck's mom said he should date a Jewish girl.
—The rest of the school finds out about Quinn's pregnancy, causing Sue to kick her off the Cheerios, and it makes Finn and Quinn uncool.
— Ken tries to make the football players choose between glee club or football, because he's jealous of Will.
— Sue is in love with and then has her heart broken by newscaster Rod Remington.
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Season 1, Episode 9: Wheels (2009)
— The glee club raises money to get a handicapable bus for Artie by selling cupcakes while they are all in wheelchairs, and Puck fills the cupcakes with drugs.
— Tina reveals that her stutter is a lie, and Artie gets mad about it.
— Becky Jackson arrives on the scene and takes Quinn's vacant spot on the Cheerios.
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Season 1, Episode 10: Ballad (2009)
— Rachel becomes obsessed with Will, which reminds Will of the last girl who got obsessed with him, and she was so sad when he rejected her that she almost died by eating a hot pepper. Will tries to sing his rejection to Rachel, but she doesn't get it.
— Finn reveals Quinn's pregnancy to her parents through song, and it gets Quinn kicked out of her house.
— Kurt tries to tell Finn he loves him, but Finn thinks it's the name of a song.
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Season 1, Episode 11: Hairography (2009)
— Everyone wears ridiculous wigs.
— Quinn decides she wants to keep the baby, so Terri's sister makes her babysit triplets to get her to change her mind. It does not work.
— Terri buys Will an impractical car to get his mind off of the baby. it does not work.
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Season 1, Episode 12: Mattress (2009)
— Will finds one of Terri's fake bellies and finally figures out that she's not really pregnant. He then sleeps on a mattress in his office, which almost dooms the club to being disqualified for sectionals, since they were given the mattresses as payment for being in a commercial.
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Season 1, Episode 13: Sectionals (2009)
— Finn finally finds out that he's not the father of Quinn's baby – aka he finally figures out how reproduction actually works – and punches Puck in the face before breaking up with Quinn and almost quitting New Directions.
— The glee club discovers that Sue leaked their set list, so the other groups performed the same songs. But it doesn't matter, because the glee club is magical and can just completely change their song choices at the last minute super easily and win anyway.
— Sue gets suspended for a quick second.
— Will tells Terri he no longer loves her, and finally kisses Emma after Ken breaks off their wedding.
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Season 1, Episode 14: Hell-O (2010)
— Sue drugs and blackmails Figgins to get her job back and makes Brittany and Santana seduce Finn.
— Finn and Rachel are dating now, but they break up because of Brittany and Santana. Finn goes on a date with both of them, then realizes he wants to be with Rachel. Unfortunately, Rachel has just met Jesse St. James of Vocal Adrenaline, and she starts dating him…all within one episode.
— Will meets and makes out with Idina Menzel, who is currently coaching Vocal Adrenaline, even though he's dating Emma. Nothing makes sense.
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Season 1, Episode 15: The Power of Madonna (2010)
— Finn loses his virginity to Santana. Rachel almost loses her virginity to Jesse and Emma almost loses her virginity to Will, but they back out at the last minute.
— Jesse joins the glee club.
— Tina forgives Artie and they kiss.
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Season 1, Episode 16: Home (2010)
— Sue wants new cheerleader Mercedes to start losing weight, meaning it's time for a serious lesson about body image, conveyed through a song that changes everyone's minds for the better.
— April Rhodes has been gifted with a lot of money by the wife of the rich dude she was sleeping with, who is now dead, so she buys the auditorium for the glee club.
— Burt starts hanging out with Finn, and it makes Kurt sad.
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Season 1, Episode 17: Bad Reputation (2010)
— Will raps again for some inexplicable reason.
— Kurt steals a video of sue singing "Physical" and puts it online, which leads Olivia Newton-John to ask Sue to help her remake the video.
— Quinn makes a glee club sex list and wreaks havoc throughout the school.
— Rachel makes it look like Puck, Jesse, and Finn are all fighting over her in a video, so Jesse breaks up with her.
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Season 1, Episode 18: Laryngitis (2010)
— Puck shaves off his mohawk due to a mole, then dates Mercedes to try to be cool again. Santana gets jealous, and then Mercedes breaks up with Puck and quits the Cheerios because she realizes being cool is lame.
— Rachel has to have tonsil surgery and is afraid of losing her voice, until Finn introduces her to a friend who is paralyzed from the waist down, and she suddenly realizes that potentially losing her voice is really no big whoop compared to what other things she could be losing.
— Kurt is jealous of Finn and Burt, so he pretends to be straight for a bit, including a make-out session with Brittany. In the end, he chooses to be himself, and Burt says that's OK.
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Season 1, Episode 19: Dream On (2010)
— New school board member/show choir hater/former rival of Will's Neil Patrick Harris shows up because he wants to get rid of the glee club, but Will changes his mind with music, so he decides to cut the Cheerios budget instead.
— Artie wants desperately to be able to dance, and Tina tries and fails to get him to walk. He then performs an imaginary dance in a mall.
— Jesse comes back and makes up with Rachel, but only because Rachel's mother – also known as Vocal Adrenaline's coach, Idina Menzel – is making him in order to let Rachel know that Idina Menzel is her mother.
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Season 1, Episode 20: Theatricality (2010)
— Figgins thinks Tina is a vampire.
— Rachel and Idina Menzel meet and sing "Poker Face" together after deciding that despite how badly they wanted to meet each other, they don't actually want to bet too close to each other.
— Burt asks Carole (who he is dating) and Finn to move in with him and Kurt, and Finn has a little fit and says horrible things to Kurt. He makes up for it later by making a Lady Gaga costume out of a shower curtain.
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Season 1, Episode 21: Funk (2010)
— Vocal Adrenaline attacks the New Directions in a variety of stupid ways.
— Will has regrets and apparently the only cure is funk music, so he makes the glee club learn funk songs.
— The glee club is so good at singing funk songs that the members of Vocal Adrenaline become depressed.
— Will seduces Sue and asks her out so he can then stand her up and shave off all of her hair to get her back for being a jerk.
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Season 1, Episode 22: Journey (2009)
— New Directions performs Journey songs at Regionals, but the judges are Sue, Josh Groban, Olivia Newton-John, and Rod Remington, and they lose.
— The other judges bully Sue because she's not as famous as they are, which inspires her to blackmail Figgins (yet again) into giving the glee club another year.
— Quinn goes into labor right as New Directions gets off stage and gives burth in a kickass montage set to Vocal Adrenaline's performance of "Bohemian Rhapsody"
— Idina Menzel shows up to remind us of the fact that she can no longer have any children of her own, and that she sure would love to adopt a baby... It works, and Quinn and Puck's baby becomes Rachel's adopted sister!
— Rachel and Finn get back together, but Will and Emma do not, because Emma is now dating John Stamos.
— Matt is never seen again.
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Season 2, Episode 1: Audition (2010)
— Rachel gets so jealous of a potential new glee club recruit named Sunshine that she gives her false directions to an audition and sends her to a crack house. That's also probably why she defects to Vocal Adrenaline by the end.
— Santana is demoted on the Cheerios because she got a boob job and Finn is kicked off of the football team by the new coach Beiste thanks to Will and Sue bullying Beiste after she got Figgins to cut some budgets in favor of the football team.