Denise Richards, Sam & Lola, It's Complicated
The sexy single mom always looks so good in family photo ops, we almost suspect they're (gasp!) staged. But after being married to Charlie Sheen, who can blame her for wanting to put a prettier spin on things?
Kim Zolciak, Brielle & Ariana, The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Brielle's 11th birthday party included a Hummer limo, fashion show and...a sleepover, which might be almost normal except it took place at a hotel. Add to that her gift of a Louis Vuitton bag and chain-smoking mama Kim better start saving those "Tardy for the Party" royalty checks for next year's celebration.
Teresa Giudice, Milania, Gia, Gabriella & Audriana, The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Papa Giudice is not—repeat, not—connected, but if he were, his shopaholic daughters would be perfect Mafia princesses. The cash his wife drops in one visit to a children's boutique would cover all of Danielle Staub's attorneys' fees.
Alex McCord, François & Johan, The Real Housewives of New York City
Her sons have pretentious Euro-wannabe names and are force-fed French but, sadly, have all the cultural refinement of poodles in heat—climbing people's legs and picking off other's plates. Seems like an all-American dose of Saturday morning cartoons and sugary cereals is in order!
Jamie Sterling, AshLynn & BreAnne, Toddlers & Tiaras
The pageant mom just loves pitting her little twins against each another in beauty contests (not to mention her three other daughters who also compete). Naturally, Ma Sterling prefers the "prettier" twin...who she thinks resembles her.
Andrea Arlington, Tess, Alexis & Gabrielle, Pretty Wild
From dispensing Adderall like vitamins to her daughters every morning to her homeschooling curriculum based entirely on her interpretation of The Secret, this free-thinking mom suddenly makes Courtney Love look like June Cleaver.
Lynne Curtin, Raquel & Alexa, The Real Housewives of Orange County
The self-absorbed evictee hires a consultant—a "youthologist"—to disclipine her youngest daughter, but finds a way to bond with her eldest through joint mani-pedis cosmetic surgeries.
Mayumi Heene & Falcon, Wife Swap, Balloon Boy Hoax
Since Mrs. Heene couldn't swap herself out again, her youngest son became the sacrificial lamb in her family's bizarre bid to return to reality TV. The boy's blabbing ruined it for everyone, but at least his lying mama held his Tupperware when he was vomiting on national TV.