A Birthday Pic
Our girl is a straight-up hero for including this gem ripe for use on your birthday from "Anti-Hero": "I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser."
Only For Use on April 29
"This is what I was up to on April 29," a cheeky play on "Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?" from "High Fidelity," a 3 am edition track.
When You Just Like Your Outfit But Don't Really Have a Reason to Post
For s--ts and giggles, let's go with this doozy from "Vigilante S--t": "And I don't dress for villains or for innocents, I'm on my vigilante s--t again."
A Sunny Throwback Pic From the Summer
"You're On Your Own, Kid" is here for you in January when you are seasonally depressed: "Summer went away, still the yearning stays."
For a Photo From Any Trip You've Taken Lately
From "Question...?," we offer up the simple but effective, "Big city, wrong choices."
When You Totally Nail Your Makeup
The opening lyric of "Vigilante S--t"—"Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man"—is your best friend.
For a Trip to See, Well, Snow on the Beach
Vacation towns should expect to see an uptick in tourism this winter solely because of Taylor's collab with Lana Del Rey, "Snow on the Beach," which features one of Taylor's several (!) F-bombs on Midnights: "It's like snow at the beach, weird, but f--kin' beautiful."
When You Want to Humble-Post a Photo From Your Trip to Paris
"I was taken by the view, like we were in Paris," from, obviously, "Paris."
For An Emo Photo Of Yourself
Indulge your inner teenager who lived to write Dashboard Confessional lyrics on their binders with "Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out" from "Labyrinth."
What's Wrong With Being Confident?
No, it is not obnoxious to post a photo of yourself looking amazing, and yes, you should 100 percent post it with the following "Bejeweled" line: "Best believe I'm still bejeweled. When I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer."
But there are other options from track nine, including "Diamonds in my eyes, I polish up real nice," and "What's a girl gonna do? A diamond's gotta shine," which kind of sounds like something the villain on The Bachelor would say and we love it.
When You Have a Drink In Your Hand On a Boat
Taylor is here for this very specific need, thanks to this line from "Mastermind": I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails and the liquor in our cocktails."
Post-Breakup Caption Needs
We would suggest just sending your ex a direct link to "Karma," but here are a few doozies from that absolute banger: "I keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn't know what I mean," "Karma is my boyfriend" or "Karma is a relaxing thought, aren't you envious that for you it's not?"
When You Cannot Even Find Three Emojis to Use
"It's me, Hi, I'm the problem, it's me!" This line from "Anti-Hero" is absolutely flawless and can be used in so many scenarios. The versatility and faux self-effacing nature is chills-inducing!