Lin-Manuel Miranda
"Lin-Manuel Miranda looks like he's getting a 1996 NBC sitcom with his haircut"
Whoopi Goldberg
"Tanner raised his arms and my dad looks at his armpit hair and says 'YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE WHOOPI GOLDBERG IN A HEADLOCK'"
Jessica Chastain
"I'm going to white balance my TV on Jessica Chastain's chest. #Oscars"
Eddie Redmayne
"Dear Eddie Redmayne I hate your stinking guts you make me vomit you're the scum between my toes love zhenya"
Ryan Gosling
"Oh, look at me...I'm Ryan Gosling. I have perfect bone structure and kind eyes. Go f--k yourself Ryan Gosling."
Felicity Jones
"Are we all just ignoring the fact that Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones have the same face?"
Natalie Portman
"Feel like if you went to lunch with Natalie Portman she would only order a hot tea with lemon and MAYBE some toast. Definitely not an entree tho"
Samuel L. Jackson
"Samuel L. Jackson has resting fart face..."
Robert De Niro
"Robert DeNiro is not a Good Fella. He is a POS."
Robert De Niro
"Welcome to my class on imitating Robert Deniro. The first step is to always contort your face like you just heard your grandma fart. Good."
Robert De Niro
"There are now two things visible from space: the Great Wall of China and Robert DeNiro's mole"
Robert De Niro
"Robert Deniro is too old to be making gangsta movies still...dude needs to start playing grandfather roles or something"
Robert De Niro
"My nanas broken her nose and she looks like Robert deniro it's such a shame"
Robert De Niro
"Robert DeNiro eat s--t and die you POS"
Robert De Niro
"Robert De Niro looks like a wrinkled potato."
Odell Beckham Jr.
"Odell Beckham Jr. transitioned from an exciting new rookie to an extremely lame looking d--khead in an alarmingly short amount of time."
J.J. Watt
"JJ watt kinda looks like a fat @macklemore hahaha."
DeMarco Murray
"I have a deep and sincere hatred for Demarco Murray. I hope he chokes on a d--k."
Michael Irvin
"Surprised Michael Irvin can say all these stupid things with Demarco Murray's d--k so far down his throat."
Tony Romo
"Tony Romo sits down to pee."
Kurt Warner
"Kurt Warner walkin stupid slow like he sharted."
Terrell Davis
"Terrell Davis acting like a real McA-- Hole right now!!! F--k him."
Russell Wilson
"I'm tired of people saying Russell Wilson is too short to play quarterback. He's ugly, too."
Von Miller
"Von Miller looks like an 80 yr old man from 1974."