Season Two
"I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff."—Mike
Season Two
"I've kissed him, and can I just say? Not worth the buck. I would, however, pay 100 dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs."—Santana
Season Two
"That's my man and his legs don't work!"—Brittany
Season Two
"Lindsay Lohan looks like something out of Lord of the Rings."—Emma
Season Two
"The first time I cheated, I got pregnant. The second time I did it, I got mono. I think the universe is trying to tell me something."—Quinn
Season Two
"I had a cat thrown at me in a nursing home once."—Kurt
Season Two
"I'll just marry an NFL player. They're super reliable."—Santana
Season Two
"I agree with SpongeHair SquareChin. It's a stupid idea!"—Sue
Season Two
"Let me tell you something about Will Schuester. That guy has tiny baby hands. Seriously, it's weird. Once I saw him try and pick up a Big Mac, and he couldn't do it. He had to eat it layer by layer."—Dustin Goolsby
Season Two
"Blaine and I love football. Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves."—Kurt
Season Two
"It's broccoli. When I showed it to Brittany earlier, she began to whimper thinking I had cut down a small tree where a family of Gummi bears lived."—Sue
Season Two
"Despite the fact that your mouth to face ratio is way off, you still somehow manage to be cute."—Santana to Sam
Season Two
"Hey dwarf, anyone ever tell you that you dress like one of the bait girls on To Catch a Predator?"—Santana to Rachel
Season Two
"You are as brilliant and talented as you are irritating."—Kurt to Rachel
Season Two
"Ms. Holliday's right. Mr. Schuester's set list sometimes makes it seem like he hasn't listened to the radio since the '80s."—Kurt
Season Two
"We used to be best friends...before I got your girlfriend pregnant and then made out with your other girlfriend."—Puck
Season Two
"Kurt, when you're ready, I want you to be able to... do everything. But when you're ready I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don't throw yourself around, like you don't matter. 'Cause you matter, Kurt."—Burt
Season Two
"I'm with Rachel now. She's a lot shorter than Quinn and she talks a lot, but I love her."—Finn
Season Two
Puck: "I'm Finn Hudson, the goofy quarterback."
Santana: "I'm Rachel Berry, his loudmouth girlfriend."
Brittany: "I'm Mike Chang."
Season Two
"Sorry, uh, but if I wanted to sing about Jesus I'd go to church. And the reason I don't go to church is because most churches don't think very much of gay people. Or women. Or science."—Kurt
Season Two
"Look, I don't mean to be a bitch...well actually I do."—Santana
Season Two
Puck: "Oh my God, he's coming out."
Finn: "Why, yes, there is a man who's sort of recently come into my life, and that man is Jesus Christ."
Puck: "That's way worse."
Season Two
"It's a Britney Spears sex riot!"—Sue
Season Two
"I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. It's Brittany, bitch."—Brittany