Season Two
"I'm gonna sue the pants off of you, Will. I'm going to take your house, your car, your extensive collection of vests. I mean, seriously, you wear more vests than the cast of Blossom."—Sue
Season Two
"Do not get up in the Panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelet."—Coach Beiste to Sue
Season Two
Puck: "Dude, your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?"
Sam: "I don't know, I've never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?"
Season Two
Rachel: "I'm controlling. Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?"
Finn: "Yes! That was out loud, wasn't it?"
Season One
"Life only really has one beginning and one end, and the rest is just a whole lot of middle. And I love you guys too much to let you not make the most of it."—Will
Season One
"Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?"—Brittany
Season One
Rachel: "Break a leg."
Finn: "I love you."
Season One
"I have a compulsive need to crush other people's dreams."—Terri
Season One
"I'm getting a full ride to the University of California Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles."—Jesse
Season One
"I think you will be adding revenge to the list of things you're not good at, including being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian."—Sue to Will
Season One
"I love you, Emma. There, I finally said it. And you love me, and the dentist or no, this thing isn't over between us."—Will
Season One
"Can't feed a child sheet music, Will. I mean, I suppose you could for a while, but they'd be dead in a month."—Bryan Ryan
Season One
"I want a look that's so optimistic, it could cure cancer."—Shelby
Season One
Sue: "Iron tablet? Keeps your strength up while menstruating."
Will: "I don't menstruate."
Sue: "Yeah? Neither do I."
Season One
"So, hairography. It works best when you pretend like you're being tasered, so you just move your head around like you're spazzing and stuff. It's like cool epilepsy." —Brittany
Season One
"That Rachel chick makes me wanna light myself on fire, but she can sing"—Puck
Season One
"Mercedes is black. I'm gay. We make culture."—Kurt
Season One
Tina: [referring to her Gaga dress] "My balls keep falling off."
Kurt: "I've been there."
Season One
"I had sex with you because you got me drunk on wine coolers and I felt fat that day, but it was a mistake." —Quinn to Puck
Season One
"I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou!"—Sue
Season One
"Who is Josh Groban? Kill yourself!"—Sandy
Season One
"Your lack of imagination astounds me! This is only the beginning! If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees: shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kid's birthday party with the candles still lit!"—April
Season One
"We live in Ohio. Not New York, or San Francisco, or some other city where people eat vegetables that aren't fried."— Finn
Season One
"Oh, hell to the no! Look, I'm not down with all this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyoncé. I ain't no Kelly Rowland!"—Mercedes