United States
Love it or hate it, Ralph Lauren's preppy Olympic uniform has already generated plenty of press. So instead of recapping the red, white and blue skirt and pant suits, we'd like to direct your attention to the retro footwear on our fine female Olympians. Shudder. Bobby socks and brogues are so universally unflattering—may we suggest trading Mr. Lauren to a competitor like Russia or Great Britain for 2016?
Sweden
There's something so sweetly quirky about the striped yellow-and-blue pullovers seen on the Swedish team. The top manages to be both a nod to vintage Benetton rugby jerseys and the Where's Waldo? franchise. In fact, the gear says pretty much anything except, "Take us seriously." Depending on how Sweden performs, it could be a brilliant style strategy to disarm their opponents.
Spain
Some Spanish athletes have complained about their outfits—courtesy of Bosco Sport, a Russian company that also designed uniforms for Russia and Ukraine. But as far as free duds go, tonight's red blazers and blue bottoms don't seem like a handicap. Yet.
Poland
Lucky Poles! The female athletes are in the enviable position of being able to actually recycle their opening ceremony uniforms. Their white dresses decorated with poppies, matching red flats and cropped jackets are like the Olympic version of a flattering bridesmaid's dress: almost unheard of.
Netherlands
Nothing makes us spit up our sports drinks like athletes dressed up in bright orange and cobalt blue pants and jackets. There's nothing subtle about it. But you have to hand it to Team Netherlands, no one is going to forget their over-the-top uniforms. Will they be able to make a parallel statement on the playing field? Stay tuned.
Mexico
Viva color! Viva print! Viva the Mexican team, which looks ready for a Day of the Dead celebration in these traditional ponchos. The festive uniforms are one of tonight's boldest looks and, we're betting, most likely to spawn a slew of stylish imitators.
Jamaica
Fashion meets military styling meets the Olympics as the Jamaican team enters the stadium. There's a whole lot going on with these black, green and gold uniforms, designed by Bob Marley's daughter, Cedella Marley, for Puma. But as long as Usain Bolt puts on a good show, his wardrobe is the last thing anyone will be thinking about.
Italy
It may have been worth trying to qualify for the Italian Olympics team just to get your hands on the 50-piece collection Giorgio Armani designed for the athletes. We'd be willing to trade blood, sweat and tears for these elegant blue suits alone. Maybe next time.
Great Britain
To be clear, Stella McCartney didn't design tonight's uniforms, and tweeted as much after being widely credited for Next's white-and-gold gear. Sure, it's flashy, but would it be so bad if people thought she'd styled the team—currently dressed somewhere between celestial beings and extras in a Jay-Z and Kanye West video?
Germany
It's a boy! It's a girl! There's nothing gender-neutral about Germany's pink-and-blue-clad athletes, though Adidas allows them to wear identical white pants and straw hats. We're not huge fans of the his-and-her motif, which is made even more offensive by opting for the most plastic-looking shades possible on these brightly colored jackets.
France
Zut! Hermes is outfitting France's equestrian team, so were hoping for silk scarves or maybe leather satchels emblazoned with the French line's logo along with their Adidas-commissioned gear. What we got was a ho-hum pants-and-jacket combo that could have desperately used some designer accessorizing.
El Salvador
El Salvador for the win! We're shooing these athletes straight to the victory podium for adding a touch of real-world style to their Olympic uniforms with these ombré sweaters and fitted blue skirts. World-class athlete or Excel whiz, who wouldn't wear this to work Monday morning?
Czech Republic
The British have endured plenty of jokes about their gloomy weather—while insisting it rains a lot more pretty much everywhere else. So while we're appreciating these shiny wellies and matching brollies, the waterproof accessories on Team Czech are likely to get a pretty cold reception from the hometown crowd.
Bulgaria
If J.Crew had been tapped to provide uniforms for the Olympics, they may have come up with something similar to this seersucker-looking blazer. What any of this has to do with Team Bulgaria we have no idea...but there's probably decent money to be made modeling for the retailer's catalog if the athletics thing doesn't work out.
Brazil
Brazil's national colors are on display: Yellow-and-green trousers on the men while the women wear coordinating minis (not pictured) and both sport striped, Harry Potter-style scarves. It probably isn't a purposeful nod to Britain's It boy but ties in nicely with the opening ceremony's wink to the wizarding world.
Canada
Oh, Canada. Our neighbors to the north stroll the stadium in an uninspired khaki and zip-up jacket combo. Ultimately, the Canucks look more like Gap employees at a retail pep rally than world-class athletes prepping for the greatest competition of their lives. Throw this look back on the sales rack, please!
Belgium
Talk about embracing your fashion options: Belgium's female athletes get two choices for showing off their toned gams: skinny trousers or miniskirts. Thanks to tonight's trendy gear, beer, fries and chocolate won't be the only things that spring to mind when the small European country comes up in conversation.
Australia
The Aussies seem to have taken inspiration from the Augusta National Masters Tournament with these crested green blazers—not that there's anything wrong with styling yourself after golf's elite players. It might even be a lucky omen for the athletes from Down Under.