Ashton Kutcher Sexing Up Steve Jobs
The whole "geeks are sexy" movement has been simmering for a solid decade. But Ash's imminent turn as the dearly departed Apple honcho in feature-length biopic Jobs—which is set to premiere at Sundance next month—surely marks a new apex.
Related gift idea: Mac fetishists who love this movie might also be turned on by a vintage Apple II, original Mac or a first-gen iPod from eBay.
Feminist Cred, or Lack Thereof
While we usually hate to see needless Internet sniping like the lashes self-proclaimed non-feminist Katy Perry has been getting from various feminist bloggers and onlookers, we love it that people are actually talking about what feminism is in 2012, rather than just assuming everyone gets it.
Related gift idea: Have it both ways by loading Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth on a Kindle with a pink Hello Kitty skin.
Darth Vader Pepsi
The Japanese are killing it in the soda game this season. First it was the supposedly fat-burning Pepsi Special. Now it's this "energy cola" emblazoned with Lord Vader's likeness. Whether it provides a much-needed energy boost to get through the workday or the power to telekinetically choke our underlings, we're in.
Related gift idea: Order some of this stuff from overseas or your nearest Japanese import source.
The Dark Knight Rises on Blu-ray
The final installment in Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy is the anti-holiday special we've been dreaming of. Christian Bale's heroic existential brooding provides the perfect counterpoint to those pesky partridges in pear trees.
Related gift idea: Get the DVD. Get it. Go. Now.
Kate Middleton’s Uterus
It's about damn time. Less because we're eager to see the royal bloodline extended than because we were getting sick of staring at her belly and guessing "baby bump or burrito lunch?"
Related gift idea: For Kate or any expectant mama, we recommend pretty much any of these amazing pop culture nurseries, like maybe Star Wars (pictured).
Flying Lotus' Trippy Elijah Wood Video
Not sure we'd want to watch the once and future Frodo stumbling around with a severed arm and popping all kinds of pills in a full two-hour movie. But as the three-and-a-half-minute video concept for Flying Lotus' toe-tapping "Tiny Tortures," it's eerie and cool as hell.
Related gift idea: The whole album, titled Until the Quiet Comes (Warp Records), is killer.
Charlie Sheen, Mr. Moneybags
Anyone who ever accused the former Two and a Half Men star of being stingy had to nibble on some crow with the news that he's donating 100 grand to help repay Lindsay Lohan's tax debt. See, even Hollywood freaks know how to come together and help one another during the holiday season.
Related gift idea: Cash—it always fits, and no one cares if you don't wrap it.
Chris Brown's Social Media Comeback
Following an ugly Twitter spat with comedian Jenny Johnson, the world's most problematic boyfriend is back on the wagon: "Time to start fresh. #newchapter," he writes. While we wait eagerly for the next tweetdown, there's always Instagram, which he used to advertise his apparent reunion with Rihanna.
Related gift: Therapy pillows, anyone?
Led Zeppelin, Legit Rock Overlords
Whether being honored at the Kennedy Center makes them timelessly cool or just a little bit more square, it was awesome to watch President Obama introduce them, complete with a plea not to trash the place.
Related gift idea: The deluxe edition of the Celebration Day concert movie and soundtrack is a must-have for classic rock completists.
Holiday music playlists
Sorry, Scrooges, but the rules are very clear: Once the Black Friday dust settles it is perfectly acceptable to start queuing up our favorite holiday jams. Maybe it's Taylor Swift's "Last Christmas" followed by a classic Andy Williams cut. Or perhaps it's Adam Sandler's "Hannukah Song" into Snoop Dogg's "Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto." We'll take them all. Over and over. For the next four weeks, please.
Bad 25
A one-hour version of Bad 25, Spike Lee's awesome documentary marking the silver anniversary of Michael Jackson's landmark 1987 album, is now streaming on Hulu. Even millennials who were still in diapers when Martin Scorsese shot the video for the title track can feel the electricity and the weight of Jackson's post-Thriller masterwork. Must-see stuff.
Chris Hemsworth in Red Dawn
We didn't pick up on the similarities between Hemsworth and the dearly departed Patrick Swayze until we saw this kinda-topical-but-mostly-trashy remake of the classic Cold War allegory from 1984. Both men get by on a vaguely squinty, occasionally pouty, supremely American vibe that not even North Korean ground forces can surmount.
Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two
We're totally stoked on this vibrant video game sequel that revisits the darker side of Mickey Mouse's imagination. The nod to oft-forgotten Disney property Pete's Dragon is especially inspired. Vicarious painting hasn't been this much fun since our first Bob Ross tutorial.
Believing in Netflix
A sliding stock price and looming competition have analysts questioning the future of the go-to video service. Though we gave up on those cute red envelopes ages ago and reverted to streaming access, we're still rooting for them to pull through—at least long enough to serve up another season of Breaking Bad on our smartphones.
Angus T. Jones’ Sour Grapes
Whether the Two and a Half Men star's public dissing of his own meal ticket was inspired by a spiritual awakening or just the innate human desire to get a rise out of Charlie Sheen, no one can deny it's made for some fun Hollywood headlines. If he's that disgusted by CBS' long-running sitcom hit, can you imagine what he would say about Family Guy?
Sniping Over Facebook’s Privacy Policy
First came the wave of pals posting that bogus copyright declaration on their walls. Then came the wave of other friends setting those friends straight, pointing out that the disclaimer ultimately doesn't mean squat. As social network hoaxes go, it's no dead Jon Bon Jovi, but we'll take what we can get.
Naked People in Congress
Kudos to the not-so-shy activists who went above and beyond to protest cuts to AIDS research in the office of House Speaker John Boehner. No matter how you feel about the cause, it's nice to see news hounds buzzing about middle-class domestic skin instead of Kate Middleton's.
Popcorn, food of the future
A recent Sterling-Rice Group study says 2013 will be a banner year for exploded kernels, be they sweet or savory, in a bowl or passed off as alternative croutons. Let's just say we're not waiting for New Year's Day to celebrate. [voracious crunching noise here]
Live Performances at the AMAs
(From the week of Nov. 22, 2012)
Can't we stop pretending to care about the awards and just call it a kick-ass variety show? When/where else are you gonna see Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen and "Gangnam Style" purveyor Psy all in one place? (Answer: Pretty much every day, on YouTube. But also at the AMAs on Sunday!)
Casting the David Petraeus Movie
I mean, how do you pick?! Chris Cooper's a little too wizened, Bryan Cranston is too busy and George Clooney just isn't weasly enough. Whoever winds up playing the adulterous general in the inevitable made-for-cable-TV version of the post-election season's biggest scandal, let the record show we like Carla Gugino as Paula Broadwell.
Pacifists Playing Call of Duty: Black Ops 2
The true measure of a first-person shooter game isn't the immersive graphics, the online multiplayer features or the captivating military plotlines. It's the ability to pull even the most peace-loving coed away from studying for his Origins of Buddhism midterm and into the dorm lounge for a Call of Duty all-nighter. The latest chapter in Activision's blockbuster game series scores high on that scale.
Keira Knightley in Period Garb
Sorry, Gwyneth. Condolences, Cate. No one rocks a corset and complementary up-do like Keira. And in the new Anna Karenina adaptation, a striking period wardrobe is just the icing on a rapturously romantic cake.
Leslie Knope’s Engagement
The rippling effects of Ben and Leslie's betrothal on Parks and Rec continue to be felt across the sitcom universe. When even the recently reelected vice president of the United States is compelled to drop in and pay his respects, you know it's a big friggin' deal.
The Twilight-iest Twilight ever
Hard to say what we're more stoked about—a triumphant conclusion to the world's sexiest supernatural-romance franchise or the huge amount of Hollywood bandwidth that its gorgeous stars can now look forward to.