Russell Hantz, Foa Foa
Dude empties his teammates' water bottles, burns their clothes and lies about (1) being a firefighter who (2) lost his dog in (3) Hurricane Katrina. And unlike Coach's tall tales, his tribemates buy it all. And none of them notice when—without any clues—he finds the Immunity Idol. Hate him or hate him, the cunning oilman owns this game.
Ashley Trainer, Foa Foa
Her membership in Russell's dumbass-girls alliance wasn't enough to keep the spa salesgirl around. Chugging a slug smoothie, on the other hand...
Ben Browning, Foa Foa
"Outlaw, baby!" The L.A. "mixologist" is the first contestant ever to be DQ'd during a Survivor challenge, but we've seen way worse than tripping. Everyone, including Jeff Probst, thinks Ben's a bully, but he sure is fun to watch—especially when throwing down with Yasmin.
Betsy Bolan, Foa Foa
The 48-year-old cop was smart enough to smell a rat...and then stupidly shared her suspicions with Russell the rodent himself. We'll miss you, Bets.
Elizabeth Kim, Foa Foa
The driven attorney and urban planner appears to be one tough, smart cookie.
Jaison Robinson, Foa Foa
Smashing Survivor swimming stereotypes, the Chicago law student reveals in the premiere he was a college champion water-polo player. He's also the only one ratty Russell told about finding the Immunity Idol (after he secretly burned his socks).
Marisa Calihan, Foa Foa
It always sucks to be the first one eliminated, especially when Jeff briefly recalls your existence in the "reunion" segment of the finale. What could be worse? Oh yeah, belonging to the dumbass-girls alliance.
Mick Trimming, Foa Foa
Please, Castaways, do us viewers a favor and keep Dr. Mick-Hottie around for a while.
Mike Borassi, Foa Foa
Jeff called in the medics after noticing the 62-year-old personal chef was really suffering after the Mad Max basket-brawl challenge. We didn't need the Survivor physician (or Dr. Mick-Hottie) to tell us the guy was in trouble (he made us feel queasy) and had to be evacuated—meaning the yellow tribe lost two members that day.
Natalie White, Foa Foa
Russell's dumbass-girls alliance paid off—big-time!—for the Southern belle.
Brett Clouser, Galu
At 23, the L.A. T-shirt designer is the youngest (and cutest) boy in the competition. But did anyone even notice him before he won his first individual immunity?
Dave Ball, Galu
Was it difficult for casting to choose among laid-back, balding L.A. fitness enthusiasts with overcompensating ponytails?
Erik Cardona, Galu
The athletic SoCal bartender (we already like him better than "mixologist" Ben) delivered in the basketball challenge—including the blow that eventually sent the weakened Mike home. He's also the most entertaining jury member ever.
John Fincher, Galu
Not even the rocket scientist could outsmart Russell.
Kelly Sharbaugh, Galu
You know R.Hantz would target the beautiful blond hairstylist for his dumbass-girls alliance if she were in his Foa Foa tribe.
Laura Morett, Galu
The 39-year-old has to be Survivor's hottest grandmother. You go, GILF.
Monica Padilla, Galu
With her ouster inevitable, the San Diego law school grad did her best to shake up the Foa Foa tribe—even managing to rattle Russell.
Russell Swan, Galu
The "other" Russell made some questionable choices as tribe leader—sending the disgruntled Yasmin to "spy" on the other camp and picking pillows over a tarp for Camp Monsoon—and then collapsed during a challenge. Scariest Survivor moment ever.
Shannon Waters, Galu
Shambo has the best mullet to date on Survivor and a heart of gold, but she's missing the essential "outwit" gene. Case in point: losing the Galu fishing gear after an idle swim with no fish to show for it.
Yasmin Giles, Galu
The Detroit city girl didn't manage so well in the wild ("the hood is not the wood") or make tons of friends on either tribe. When she was sent to spend some quality time with Foa Foa, she brought along a big ole can of whiny whoopass filled with gems like Galu's "cakewalk" victories are like "taking candy from a baby."