Victoria Beckham: Back 'Em Burger
This Beckham comes with a whole lot of back, minus the ham. If only Posh would quit stickin' in the mini dresses and grab even a mini burger once in a while, we might actually catch a glimpse of flesh.
Angelina Jolie: Happy Meal
With six kids to juggle you'd think Angie would want to weigh more than the little munchkins combined. Nope, it appears sticks and stones can't break these bones, but a meal here and there wouldn't hurt, either.
Ashlee Simpson: Petey Melt
This Simpson dish comes sans meat! Ash, your hubby may be a skinny punk rocker, but that doesn't mean you should melt away with him. Who will take care of Brox?
Lindsay Lohan: Sober Burger
Jail food won't give L.L. her Mean Girls curves back. The way her career is going, the babe will be flippin' burgers at Burger King soon. Let's just hope she doesn't want a side of Coke with 'em after Betty Ford.
Amy Winehouse: Sloppy Joe
From one hot mess to another. At least Winehouse won't be doing it behind bars, even though we are shocked someone hasn't arrested her for public indecency and a slight case of sloppy.
Rachel Zoe: Sticky Burger
Looks like Rach is getting a little too much inspiration from the models these days. R.Z. has always been thin, but if she really wants a bun in her oven babe is gonna need to fatten up.
Kiera Knightly: Seafood Burger
No pirate's booty here. Kiera looks skinnier than the remains of some of her skeletal former costars. If you tried to sink her in the Caribbean, she'd never reach the bottom.
Kate Moss: Bacon Burger
Looks like most of these über-skinny socialites are substituting their meals for far less healthy intakes, if anything at all. This bone-ified British babe could use some bacon with that slab of ribs.
Teri Hatcher: BBQ Burger
Cross your fingers that this housewife is on her way to a Wisteria Lane barbeque. Chicken legs won't do these days, Terr. Let's get some beefy meat of those bones.
Tori Spelling: Homemade Burger
Way to set a Stella-r example, Tori. Rule No. 1: The bonier the better. Why do you think Grandma Candy never stood a chance with this stick-ler?
Steven Tyler: All-American Burger
And you thought the only bone we liked to pick was with fresh, meatless females? Let's hope the new judge idolizes J.Lo's rear-end enough to give us something to munch on while we watch the show.
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Hotter Than Your Mom