Octavia Spencer
"I gotta work out more."
—The Help's Octavia Spencer while lifting her best supporting actress trophy
Dick Van Dyke
"Hi everybody, I'm what's left of Dick Van Dyke."
—Dick Van Dyke, taking the stage to present Mary Tyler Moore with a lifetime achievement award
Jane Lynch
"Wouldn't that be nice? Oh my God, I'd love to be the creamy white center to that Oreo cookie."
—Sue Sylvester herself hinting at how much she'd love to have Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz guest star on Glee
Colin Firth
"It has this glow. I used to flash it around, hoping it would get me female attention, entry to nightclubs and top-level government departments. It didn't, but now I've got this."
—The King's Speech best actor...referring to his SAG card, people! Get your minds out of the gutter
Jesse Tyler Ferguson
"We're so jaded into our second year. Is Meryl Streep here? Because, if not, I just do not care."
—One part of Modern Family's two-time SAG Award-winning Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
Tina Fey
"I just wanted to take a moment to say to everyone at NBC: We are very happy with everything and happy to be there."
—During that whole Jay Leno-Conan O'Brien fiasco, the 30 Rock star made sure she let her employers know that they didn't have to worry about her loyalties
Jenna Fischer
"To these wonderful actors, we thank you for your work...and for this opportunity to drink booze on live TV."
—The Office star knows not to let little things like live telecasts get in the way of a good party
Kevin Bacon
"You gotta keep the fights clean and the sex dirty."
—TMI? The former Footloose star reveals the secret to the success of his marriage to wife Kyra Sedgwick
John Krasinski
"Oh man, he is the worst. He's just too talented and handsome. Honestly, going around anywhere with that guy, you feel like a troll."
—The Office's Jim, way back in 2009, on working with George Clooney for the flick Leatherheads
Sandra Bullock
"I'm very monogamous. It's just Meryl and I. If I was gonna go the lady route, I chose the best, and I stick with the best. I don't slum it."
—The Blind Side star said of any future lady-on-lady smooches (like the one she shared with her then Julie & Julia competition at the Critics' Choice Awards)
Ed Helms
"There is literally nothing I won't do. I took a tooth out for the first one...I will lose a limb, whatever it takes."
—The Hangover funnyman revealed how far he'd go in the name of comedy
Gabourey Sidibe
"Oh man! So I met Justin Timberlake last night; I only have one more 'N Syncer to meet, and it's J.C.—happens to be the one I wanna marry."
—Precious' best actress nominee (and boy band superfan) gushed to E!
B.J. Novak
"It's all actors, so people at home don't get bored when all the boring writers, editors and cinematographers come up to collect their awards."
—The Office jokester got right to the point explaining the allure of an actors-only awards show
Betty White
"I actually know many of you, and I've worked with quite a few. Maybe had a couple. And you know who you are."
—The classic funnylady (and Hot In Cleaveland winner) plays coy wheb calling out some of her Hollywood conquests
George Clooney
"I'd like to thank Betty White for her discretion...A friend of mine told me she was a bobcat in the sack."
—Not one to be outdone, Clooney jokingly dishes his own little bit of information. Juicy!