Nicki Minaj
"This is all my hair. At night, I press a certain button and my hair grows up, and I press another button to activate the color on it."
Cool. Where can we get one of those nifty contraptions?
Pat Monahan, Train
"Thanks, Justin Bieber, for not being a duo or a group."
The band's frontman commenting backstage after winning Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group for the song "Hey, Soul Sister."
Then again, never say never.
Heidi Klum
"Naked, that's the trick. You gotta sing naked."
Whoops. Did someone fail to take her own relationship advice? Awkward.
Taylor Swift
"I just keep thinking back to when you're in second grade and you sing at your talent show the first time and people joke around and they say, 'Oh, maybe we'll see you at the Grammys some day.' That just seems like an impossible dream."
Yeah, but with your talent, Taylor, it doesn't seem like it was ever impossible.
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Lady Antebellum
"From cow poo to red carpet in two days—that's country music."
Wow, we imagined the whole process would be a little more glamorous.
Craig Ferguson
"You may not know this but I'm actually nominated tonight for a Grammy myself. I'm up for best solo performance in a sex tape, and I'm very excited."
Hmmm, we don't think the winners of that category were ever announced out loud...
Caleb Followill, Kings of Leon
"I'm not going to lie, we're all a little drunk. But we're happy drunks."
And what better time to celebrate than winning the Grammy for Record of the Year?
Bono
"I'd like to give a message to the young people of America, and that is, we shall continue to abuse our position and f--k up the mainstream."
Way back in 1994, Bono used his acceptance speech during U2's win for Best Alternative Album to let us know what we were in for.
Death Cab for Cutie
"We're here to raise awareness over Auto-Tuner abuse. Thousands of musicians are affected with this."
Everyone has a cause that speaks to their heart, and we think guys have chosen a noble one.
Kathy Griffin
"They're lying, and they're full of crap!"
Finally we get a straight answer on artists who say they're just happy to be nominated. Thanks for clearing that up, Kathy!
Katy Perry
"You really want to ask me what's in my purse. I have a lock of Miley Cyrus' hair."
Do we really want to know what else she might be keeping in there?
John Mayer
"Ninety-nine percent of my life is still completely common. I do have a golden helicopter. I fly it to Malibu. But other than that, I consider myself like everyone else."
Good to know the guy's able to keep a level head, and a sense of humor, amid all the craziness of fame.
Stephen Colbert
"You may be the coolest people in the world. This year your industry was saved by a 48-year-old Scottish cat lady in sensible shoes."
Lest the music world forget the impact of Susan Boyle, the funnyguy was there to remind them.
NEXT GALLERY: 12 Years of Grammy Winners