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Rachel Berry (Lea Michele)
"When I'm done rehearsing, I'd like your feedback. Tell me if I was brilliant or simply outstanding."
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Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith)
"What's that saying? The show's gotta go all over the place, or something."
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Blaine Anderson (Darren Criss)
"If he and I got married, the Gap would give me a 50 percent discount."
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Mercedes Jones (Amber Riley)
"Oh, hell to the no! Look, I'm not down with this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyoncé, I ain't no Kelly Rowland."
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Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch)
"I'm gonna sue the pants off of you, Will. I'm going to take your house, your car, your extensive collection of vests. I mean, seriously, you wear more vests than the cast of Blossom."
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Will Schuester (Matthew Morrison)
"Come on guys! There's got to be a Journey song we haven't done yet."
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Brittany Pierce (Heather Morris)
"I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. It's Brittany...bitch."
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Emma Pillsbury (Jayma Mays)
"God didn't let you touch Rachel's boobs. Rachel did."
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Burt Hummel (Mike O'Malley)
"I don't know what two guys do when they're together. You know I sat through that whole Brokeback Mountain, from what I gather, something went down in the tent."
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Coach Beiste (Dot Marie Jones)
"Do not get up in The Panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelette."
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Becky Jackson (Lauren Potter)
"Give me some chocolate, or I will cut you."
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Santana Lopez (Naya Rivera)
"The only straight I am is straight-up bitch."
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Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer)
"Trust me on this. I've been planning weddings since I was two. My Power Rangers have gotten married and divorced in so many combinations it's like they're Fleetwood Mac."
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Quinn Fabray (Dianna Agron)
"The first time I cheated, I got pregnant. The second time I did it, I got mono. I think the universe is trying to tell me something."
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Noah "Puck" Puckerman (Mark Salling)
"The thing about chicks is that you only have to be a fraction as nice to them as you were mean to them to get them to like you again."
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Mike Chang (Harry Shum Jr.)
"I told my mom I had the flu and she made me a traditional tea made out of...panda hair."
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Artie Abrams (Kevin McHale)
"I told my parents I only want one thing for Christmas this year: stop friending me on Facebook."
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Tina Cohen-Chang (Jenna Ushkowitz)
"Mike tries to be into what I'm into. Like his abs."