Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James have not cut off communication between one another since their breakup.
The couple—who met and fell in love on season 25 of The Bachelor in 2021—split two weeks ago, with Matt opting to share the news with the world via a cryptic Instagram post that he shared "two or three hours after" they decided to break up without consulting Rachael about it.
"I’m freaking out because, you know, just got broken up with and now, a few hours later, it’s for the whole world to see and I’m still trying to process it," Rachael recalled on the Jan. 28 episode of Call Her Daddy. "I’m still in total shock, so then knowing like the whole world is seeing this..."
The 28-year-old said that she was "freaked out about the breakup itself" at the time and felt overwhelmed by the idea of having to "navigate this very publicly," while also being "surprised" by the fact "that he posted" about it so quickly, which is something he has since admitted perhaps wasn't the best choice.
"I don’t know if it was out of just him being so worked up, if it was out of anger, or if it was one of those things where he felt like he needed to do it to really finally just put a nail in the coffin," she explained to Alex Cooper, "but I have spoken with him since all of that and I do know that he definitely acknowledges that that was not the right decision."
As for the content of the post itself—in which Matt asked God to "give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding" under a photo of them first meeting on The Bachelor four years ago—Rachael understood why the public was analyzing it so closely.
"People thought it was weird that it was a Bachelor photo because we definitely tried to remove ourselves from the show," she explained. "It was interesting to see the caption only because I feel like there was no...I don’t know how to explain it. I guess it almost seemed like saying it like a prayer was the easier way to say it than to say something real."
"Not that it wasn’t real," Rachael continued, "but just something authentic to our actual relationship, but it’s very him. I guess it didn’t surprise me that he said it like that."
That being said, the former reality start admitted that she's "still in total shock" over their split.
"When we would talk about things, he always seemed like he was on the same page, privately and publicly," she shared. "We talked about rings. He told me a few months ago to start saving some things, picking things out. That's probably one of the saddest things about it."
Rachael Kirkconnell Says She and Matt James Discussed Engagement Before Split
Before they abruptly broke up after four years of dating, Rachael Kirkconnell says she and her now-ex Matt James discussed getting engaged, as well as plans to start a family in the future, during her Jan. 28 interview on Call Her Daddy.
“We talked about rings,” she said. “He told me a few months ago to start, you know, saving some things, picking things out or that we should go look at some—and that was a big deal, I would say, for him to say. That's when I was like, ‘Wow, okay. He really is on board with this.’ That was such a green flag to me and I felt like the longer we were together, the more he was able to talk about it and I think at first, I could tell it was something that did scare him a lot or it was like a really hard thing for him to talk about and it just seemed easier and easier as our relationship went on, so I felt like that was a good sign.”
Rachael Kirkconnell Details Tense Moments That Led to Breakup
During their trip to Tokyo, as Rachael explained, the couple got into small arguments stemming from Rachael feeling “overwhelmed” over choosing places for them to eat and for Matt to film his content. Those disagreements then snowballed into the bigger issues that were between them.
“We had gotten into an argument right then and there, like walking in the street, we skipped lunch, we went back to the hotel and just ended up having a bigger conversation,” the 28-year-old explained. “We were just a little irritated with one another. But then it was like, okay, now that we're back here again where you're annoyed with me, I'm annoyed with you. I feel like you're in the wrong. You feel like I'm in the wrong. He really just kind of let out everything that I guess he had been feeling for a while. I don't know.”
Rachael Kirkconnell Reveals Real Reason Matt James Broke Up With Her
According to Rachael, Matt said that “at the end of the day there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife.”
“Like at the end of the day, there are things that we aren't compatible with,” she recalled. “It was just one of those things where he I think just had this realization that I should want to propose to you by this time. Like at this point in our relationship, ‘I should be wanting those things and I should be ready for that. But I'm not still, I still don't feel like we're ready or I don't feel like I'm ready. I don't know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can't actually see myself married to you.’"
“He said that, you know, ‘Maybe one day he would get there, but he doesn't feel ready now.’ And I told him, I said, ‘Well, I feel like after four years you should know or you should feel ready. And if you don't then that's not a good thing. We probably shouldn't be together if you don't feel like that after four years because you know me better than anyone.’”
Rachael Kirkconnell Details Learning About Matt James’ Breakup Post on Airplane
As the Bachelor Nation star explained, as she boarded a plane to jet out of Tokyo, that’s when she was alerted that their split had now become public, thanks to Matt’s Instagram post announcing their split—and that she was then unable to access Wi-Fi for another 12 hours.
“We’re literally getting ready to take off and my phone blows up,” she noted. “It’s one of my best friends and it says, ‘Rach,’ with a bunch of question marks, and as soon as I saw that, I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, how does she know,’ and then she texts me again and said, 'I saw Matt’s post. Is this real life?’ And that’s how I found out that he posted. So then, literally the plane is taking off and I see his post, and that’s it. I don’t have any service or anything for the next twelve hours."
"So, I’m freaking out because, you know, just got broken up with and now, a few hours later, it’s for the whole world to see and I’m still trying to process it," she continued. "I’m still in total shock, so then knowing like the whole world is seeing this. I’m like, 'This is so crazy. I can’t even wrap my mind around this right now.’”
Rachael Kirkconnell Shares Whether She’s Spoken to Ex Matt James After Breakup
Noting that she still “would love to know” the exact reason behind Matt’s social media post, Rachael noted the move “really finally just put a nail in the coffin.”
“But I have spoken with him since all of that,” she said, “and I do know that he definitely acknowledges that that was not the right decision.”
Rachael Kirkconnell Reveals Whether She'd Reconcile With Matt James
“I don’t think I can ‘cause I think when someone says those things that he said, you know, ‘I don’t think you’re my person. I don’t see us getting married,’ I think that’s when you have to call it quits,” she explained on Call Her Daddy. “Just the way that he handled all of this and this post and everything. I forgive him, but I just don’t think I can be with someone that—I felt like he disrespected me at the end of the day doing that.”
She added, “It’s just one of those things where you have to stand up for yourself even if you don’t want to. Of course, there’s part of me that [wishes] we could just get back together and pretend that this never happened, but that’s not the case and I think as hard as it is, I think the right decision is to stand up for myself and be on my own.”