Rachael Kirkconnell is embracing whatever life throws her way.
After sharing insight into her shocking split from ex Matt James in a revealing interview with Call Her Daddy host Alex Cooper, the Bachelor Nation alum had a heartfelt message for her supporters.
“Just wanted to say thank you for the love and support,” Rachael wrote to her followers in a post on Instagram Stories Jan. 29. “Everything feels scary and discouraging right now but I believe everything happens how it is meant to and I know it will be okay.”
In fact, the 28-year-old went on to say she’s leaning into her emotions amid the end of the couple’s four-year romance, which Matt, 33, announced Jan. 16.
“It's a blessing to be able to feel things and let them hurt,” she continued. “Life is a messy and beautiful thing and I am thankful for all of the ups and downs it brings.”
In her bombshell sitdown on Call Her Daddy, Rachael offered numerous details about the breakup, noting that the former Bachelor lead’s Instagram post about their split went live just hours after he ended the relationship—and right before her flight home from Tokyo took off.
“I just couldn't believe it, going to the airport,” she said during the Jan. 28 episode of the podcast. “I was like, ‘What the hell is happening?’ We're literally getting ready to take off, and my phone blows up. I'm freaking out. Just got broken up with and now, few hours later, it’s for the whole world to see.”
Rachael explained that she was already “freaked out about the breakup itself” as she considered how to “navigate this very publicly,” which she said she’s since brought to Matt’s attention.
“I have spoken with him since all of that,” she added, “and I do know that he definitely acknowledges that that was not the right decision.”
Keep reading for more of the biggest bombshells from Rachael’s Call Her Daddy interview.
Rachael Kirkconnell Says She and Matt James Discussed Engagement Before Split
Before they abruptly broke up after four years of dating, Rachael Kirkconnell says she and her now-ex Matt James discussed getting engaged, as well as plans to start a family in the future, during her Jan. 28 interview on Call Her Daddy.
“We talked about rings,” she said. “He told me a few months ago to start, you know, saving some things, picking things out or that we should go look at some—and that was a big deal, I would say, for him to say. That's when I was like, ‘Wow, okay. He really is on board with this.’ That was such a green flag to me and I felt like the longer we were together, the more he was able to talk about it and I think at first, I could tell it was something that did scare him a lot or it was like a really hard thing for him to talk about and it just seemed easier and easier as our relationship went on, so I felt like that was a good sign.”
Rachael Kirkconnell Details Tense Moments That Led to Breakup
During their trip to Tokyo, as Rachael explained, the couple got into small arguments stemming from Rachael feeling “overwhelmed” over choosing places for them to eat and for Matt to film his content. Those disagreements then snowballed into the bigger issues that were between them.
“We had gotten into an argument right then and there, like walking in the street, we skipped lunch, we went back to the hotel and just ended up having a bigger conversation,” the 28-year-old explained. “We were just a little irritated with one another. But then it was like, okay, now that we're back here again where you're annoyed with me, I'm annoyed with you. I feel like you're in the wrong. You feel like I'm in the wrong. He really just kind of let out everything that I guess he had been feeling for a while. I don't know.”
Rachael Kirkconnell Reveals Real Reason Matt James Broke Up With Her
According to Rachael, Matt said that “at the end of the day there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife.”
“Like at the end of the day, there are things that we aren't compatible with,” she recalled. “It was just one of those things where he I think just had this realization that I should want to propose to you by this time. Like at this point in our relationship, ‘I should be wanting those things and I should be ready for that. But I'm not still, I still don't feel like we're ready or I don't feel like I'm ready. I don't know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can't actually see myself married to you.’"
“He said that, you know, ‘Maybe one day he would get there, but he doesn't feel ready now.’ And I told him, I said, ‘Well, I feel like after four years you should know or you should feel ready. And if you don't then that's not a good thing. We probably shouldn't be together if you don't feel like that after four years because you know me better than anyone.’”
Rachael Kirkconnell Details Learning About Matt James’ Breakup Post on Airplane
As the Bachelor Nation star explained, as she boarded a plane to jet out of Tokyo, that’s when she was alerted that their split had now become public, thanks to Matt’s Instagram post announcing their split—and that she was then unable to access Wi-Fi for another 12 hours.
“We’re literally getting ready to take off and my phone blows up,” she noted. “It’s one of my best friends and it says, ‘Rach,’ with a bunch of question marks, and as soon as I saw that, I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, how does she know,’ and then she texts me again and said, 'I saw Matt’s post. Is this real life?’ And that’s how I found out that he posted. So then, literally the plane is taking off and I see his post, and that’s it. I don’t have any service or anything for the next twelve hours."
"So, I’m freaking out because, you know, just got broken up with and now, a few hours later, it’s for the whole world to see and I’m still trying to process it," she continued. "I’m still in total shock, so then knowing like the whole world is seeing this. I’m like, 'This is so crazy. I can’t even wrap my mind around this right now.’”
Rachael Kirkconnell Shares Whether She’s Spoken to Ex Matt James After Breakup
Noting that she still “would love to know” the exact reason behind Matt’s social media post, Rachael noted the move “really finally just put a nail in the coffin.”
“But I have spoken with him since all of that,” she said, “and I do know that he definitely acknowledges that that was not the right decision.”
Rachael Kirkconnell Reveals Whether She'd Reconcile With Matt James
“I don’t think I can ‘cause I think when someone says those things that he said, you know, ‘I don’t think you’re my person. I don’t see us getting married,’ I think that’s when you have to call it quits,” she explained on Call Her Daddy. “Just the way that he handled all of this and this post and everything. I forgive him, but I just don’t think I can be with someone that—I felt like he disrespected me at the end of the day doing that.”
She added, “It’s just one of those things where you have to stand up for yourself even if you don’t want to. Of course, there’s part of me that [wishes] we could just get back together and pretend that this never happened, but that’s not the case and I think as hard as it is, I think the right decision is to stand up for myself and be on my own.”