Britney Spears has had enough.
The "Stronger" singer called out her ex-husband Kevin Federline days before the release of his tell-all memoir You Thought You Knew, in which the dancer details Britney's strained relationship with their sons Sean Preston, 20, and Jayden James, 19.
"The constant gaslighting from ex-husband is extremely hurtful and exhausting," she wrote on X (formerly Twitter) Oct. 15. "I have always pleaded and screamed to have a life with my boys. Relationships with teenage boys is complex."
The 43-year-old continued, "I have felt demoralized by this situation and have always asked and almost begged for them to be a part of my life. Sadly, they have always witnessed the lack of respect shown by own father for me. They need to take responsibility for themselves."
According to Britney, she's seen one of her sons "for 45 min" and had only "4 visits" with the other in the past five years.
"I have pride too," the Grammy winner shared, noting that she "will always love" her kids. "From now on I will let them know when I am available."
Condemning Kevin's book as filled with "white lies," Britney added, "I am the only one who genuinely gets hurt here."
"I am actually a pretty intelligent woman who has been trying to live a sacred and private life the past 5 years," she wrote. "I speak on this because I have had enough and any real woman would do the same."
Britney's rep also slammed Kevin's book, accusing the dancer of "profiting off" his ex-wife, who he was married to from 2004 to 2007.
"Sadly it comes after child support has ended with Kevin," her spokesperson shared in an Oct. 14 statement to E! News. "All she cares about are her kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James and their well-being during this sensationalism."
But for Kevin, he said the goal of his memoir is to help their sons "have an incredible relationship with their mother."
“It’s hard because when I really reflect on everything that’s happened—my kids do not know the woman that I married,” he told the New York Times Oct. 14. “And I’ve spent two decades trying to bridge that gap."
Kevin's memoir You Thought You Knew is out Oct. 21. For more from his book, keep reading...
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's First Hookup
Though he did briefly meet Britney back when he was a backup dancer for her tour opener LFO, Kevin said didn't really get to know the singer until they ran into each other at Joseph's, a Hollywood nightclub, during a night out with mutual friends in April 2004.
"We talked for a little while and then hit the dance floor," Kevin recalled. "Nothing too wild, just a little playful back and forth. Honestly, at the time, in my 25-year-old mind, I was just thinking about smashing that."
The two then took the party to the Beverly Hills Hotel, where Kevin said he and Britney hung out by the hot tub at her private bungalow as their friends swam in the pool.
"Then, while everyone was still swimming, Britney got out of the hot tub, grabbed my arm, and led me into the bungalow," Kevin wrote. "As soon as we got into the bungalow, Britney turned around, slipped off her underwear and started kissing me, tearing at my clothes with both hands. We stumbled toward the bed while I struggled to kick my pants off my ankles."
He added, "What happened between us that night was purely physical. It felt like we were feeding off each other’s energy, caught in this whirlwind of chemistry and connection. Very passionate, very intense."
(In response to Kevin's book, Britney publicly addressed the memoir as "extremely hurtful and exhausting." Her rep previously told E! News that all Britney "cares about are her kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James and their well-being during this sensationalism.")
How Kevin Federline Told Shar Jackson About Britney Spears Relationship
Kevin said he and Britney were "holed up" in her hotel bungalow for days before paparazzi caught wind of their romance during a beach outing. The photos eventually made their way to Shar, who was then-pregnant with her and Kevin's second baby together.
"When I finally called her, I remember pacing the floor, heart pounding," Kevin wrote. "I told her about Britney, about the connection we had, and how I couldn’t ignore it. I could hear the heartbreak in her voice, and the pain it caused. She was angry. But under the anger was something deeper, a sadness I couldn’t undo."
Looking back, Kevin acknowledged that he "should’ve been more upfront about how unhappy" he was in his relationship with Shar.
"I let things unravel instead of facing them head-on," he said. "I told myself the distance would make things easier, but it just delayed the inevitable. By the time we spoke, it was too late. I had already let her piece together the truth on her own. The photos of Britney and me on the beach helped."
Britney Spears' Alleged Hookup With a Female Dancer
When Kevin joined Britney on the European leg of her 2004 Onyx Tour, he was admittedly "already catching real feelings." So, he was quite surprised when he says he walked in on Britney and a female dancer in a hotel room in Amsterdam.
"Britney stood between her legs, hands on her face, and they were f--king going at it. Full-on making out," Kevin wrote in his memoir. "It was one of those moments that hits you so fast, your brain can’t even begin to process it."
Kevin said he immediately walked out of the room to book a flight home, but Britney "started apologizing."
"She told me she didn’t realize how serious I was about us, that she was overwhelmed, and it had been a mistake," Kevin shared, describing the discussion as a "turning point" in their relationship. "It was our first fight, or whatever you want to call it. I think it was the moment she realized I wasn’t there for the fame or the perks. I was only there for her."
How Kevin Federline Actually Proposed to Britney Spears
According to the dancer, Britney brought up the idea of marriage while they were flying back to the U.S. from the European leg of her tour.
"There we were, sitting in first class, sipping cocktails, talking about life, and then—bam—she was casually, or maybe not so casually, proposing to me," he remembered. "I kind of laughed it off, played it cool, and told her no."
Kevin said Britney looked "a little shocked," and the couple didn't speak about it again until after her knee injury in June 2004, when she had to cancel the remaining dates of her tour for surgery.
"I thought about what she’d said on the plane," wrote Kevin, who stayed with Britney as she recovered. "I kept replaying it in my head, wondering if I’d made a mistake brushing it off. By the time she was well enough to think about flying again, I finally worked up the nerve to ask her the question she’d asked me weeks earlier."
"We didn’t even have a ring," Kevin continued. "It all started as a simple, heartfelt conversation, a mutual acknowledgment of what we wanted and where we were headed. We were just two people sitting together, deeply in the moment, deciding that this was it—we were getting married."
Britney Spears Called Justin Timberlake Before Her Wedding
Kevin said Britney called her ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake on the night before their October 2004 wedding to address "unfinished business."
"I figured she was talking to her mom or her sister, so I went back to the room," he recounted. "When she got back to the room, I could tell she’d been crying."
Kevin continued of Britney, "She said she was talking to Justin. She said she needed to call him, to end one chapter of her life before starting a new one."
Britney Spears "Never Really Got Over" Justin Timberlake, Kevin Federline Says
While Kevin said Britney did explain to him that she called Justin for "closure," he believes the Grammy winner "never really got over" her 2002 breakup with the *NSYNC member.
"Even after the wedding, I could tell she hadn’t fully moved on," Kevin wrote in his book, explaining that Justin's name "came up enough" throughout their relationship. "I could see that part of her heart still had ties to him."
"She might’ve loved me, but there was always something there with Justin that she couldn’t let go of," he continued. "Being in love with someone still hanging on to someone else—you feel it, even if they don’t say it. It’s not something you can compete with."
Kevin Federline Accuses Britney Spears of Slapping Him While Holding Son
By early 2006, the couple had welcomed their first son Sean Preston and was expecting their second child Jayden James. At the time, Kevin said there were already "signs" of a troubled relationship, including an argument over his use of marijuana.
"Britney came storming into the bedroom, holding Preston, and just ripped into me," Kevin wrote. "She knew who I was. She married me knowing it. But she was on the warpath, shouting her head off. Then she slapped me. Right in the face. With our son in her arms."
Kevin said that confrontation "was the first time things got physical."
"It wouldn’t be the last," he wrote, "but that one stuck with me."
In response to the release of Kevin's memoir, Britney shared in an October 2025 message on X, formerly Twitter, "The constant gaslighting from ex-husband is extremely hurtful and exhausting."
Kevin Federline Says He Was "Ambushed" by Britney Spears Divorce
Though Kevin said he and Britney "were never the same" after that alleged altercation, he had no idea the two were headed for a divorce. In fact, he was in Canada promoting his 2006 album Playing With Fire when he said he learned that Britney had filed divorce papers.
"I got to the studio, went through the usual motions with producers," he recalled. "I knew what to expect, another day answering the same questions, until a producer ambushed me—right before I went live on air—with: 'How do you feel about Britney filing for divorce?' My brain just…froze."
Describing the experience as "humiliating, infuriating and devastating all at once," Kevin said he believes Britney filed for divorce without telling him because her "PR team thought that after the Timberlake breakup, it would look bad if she was on the receiving end again."
What Kevin Federline Says Happened on the Day Britney Spears Shaved Her Head
Before Britney infamously shaved her head—an act she said was a response to the constant objectification of her body—Kevin alleged that she showed up at his house "ringing the bell and shouting a bunch of things that didn’t make sense."
"Obviously, she was in no condition to be around our kids to stop her," Kevin wrote in his memoir. "They wouldn’t have understood why their mom was looking and acting so bizarrely, and I didn’t want to scare them."
He said Britney eventually "went down to some random hair salon in the neighborhood," where she buzzed her hair off.
"The photos from that moment wound up everywhere—her shaved head, the wild look in her eyes," Kevin wrote. "That was the exact energy she brought to my gate earlier."
Britney Spears Allegedly Favored Her Younger Son Jayden James
Kevin wrote that "it was obvious" his ex favored their youngest son over their oldest.
"Preston felt neglected while Jayden received most of her attention," the dad wrote. "I don’t doubt she loved them both, but her actions made it clear who came first."
In turn, "Preston carried that pain for years,” according to Kevin.
"The night terrors, the need for constant reassurance, the feeling that he wasn’t loved as much as his brother—it lingered," he shared of Preston. "Even as he got older and could articulate his feelings, the scars remained."
In general response to Kevin's memoir, Britney wrote on X October 2025, "Relationships with teenage boys is complex. I have felt demoralized by this situation and have always asked and almost begged for them to be a part of my life. Sadly, they have always witnessed the lack of respect shown by own father for me."
Kevin Federline Shares What Sons Allegedly Told Him About Britney Spears
As the boys got older, Kevin said they began telling him about their experiences with Britney that showed a "bigger dynamic of control and the denial of their independence."
For instance, Kevin alleged Britney would take Jayden to ride horses despite his severe allergies to the animal.
"She continued feeding Jayden shellfish even after knowing he was allergic, brushing off concerns like it wasn’t a big deal," he continued. "Preston once told me she had punched him in the face."
Kevin also alleged that his ex once "bulldozed her way" into his home with "one boob hanging out of a ripped shirt."
"In one hand she’s got a single purple diaper. For Jayden. Who hadn’t worn a diaper in over a year," he wrote. "Preston bee-lined it to the basement to hide. Britney walked in, grabbed Jayden, sat him on the couch, and started undressing him."
Kevin said Britney left after the kids' nanny stepped in.
Kevin Federline Says Sons Had "Unsettling" Visits With Britney Spears
"Britney’s visits with the boys were frequent enough, but there was always something going on in her world," Kevin wrote, "like the time they came home with their hair bleached. Not just streaked or lightly done. It was bleached down to their scalps. Their skin was burned."
Elsewhere in his memoir, Kevin said Preston was about 10 or 11 "when he came to me, asking why his mom kept forcing him to bathe with her."
"It was clear he was uncomfortable," he continued. "By the time they were teenagers, the boys told me they didn’t want to go to their mom’s house anymore."
Kevin said Preston and Jayden eventually recorded "incidents" with Britney on their phones.
"One video showed Britney screaming at Preston over a shirt he didn’t want to wear for a photo for her Instagram," he shared. "Another video showed her in the car, berating Preston, calling him names, while turning to Jayden and speaking to him in baby-talk."
According to Kevin, Jayden also had video of Britney "waking him up to put lotion on his face" in the middle of the night.
"He filmed her yelling about respect and going off on him," Kevin shared. "She would regularly wake him up in the middle of the night and drag him to her room to keep her company or watch movies with her."
Kevin said the story that "shook" him the most was when Preston and Jayden woke up to find Britney allegedly "standing silently in the doorway, watching them sleep—'Oh, you’re awake?'—with a knife in her hand."
In response to Kevin's accusations, Britney said on X in October 2025, "Trust me, those white lies in that book, they are going straight to the bank and I am the only one who genuinely gets hurt here. I will always love them and if you really know me, you won’t pay attention to the tabloids of my mental health and drinking."
Kevin Federline Says Britney Spears' Sons Stopped Seeing Her
"Every visit seemed to end with her yelling about something," Kevin wrote. "The boys just didn’t want to deal with it anymore."
Describing his sons as "emotionally drained" during that time, Kevin said their visits with Britney became "less frequent, then stopped altogether."
"One night, after another unsettling visit, the boys came home and said, 'We’re done. We’re not going back,'" Kevin wrote. "You could feel the tension in our house evaporate. They weren’t bouncing between two worlds anymore."
Where Britney Spears Stands With Her Sons Today
"Both boys have matured and gained a clearer perspective on their mom and the challenges she faces," Kevin shared. "They’ve also learned to protect themselves emotionally, knowing when to engage and when to step back."
That's why he said they continue to stay off social media and live life out of the spotlight.
"Preston, 20, is my thinker and deep feeler, a steady, calm presence with a sharp creative mind and a love for music," Kevin gushed. "His bond with his brother Jayden, now 19, is beyond strong."
And while Preston remains in Hawaii—where the family relocated to in 2023—Jayden has moved back to Los Angeles to chase his "music dreams," according to Kevin.
"Watching them grow as each other’s biggest supporters has been one of my greatest joys," he added. "Watching both of them grow into themselves has filled me with pride."