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How to Fake Like You Watch Any TV Show

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Nov 25, 2015 6:18 PM
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How to Fake Lke You Watch Any TV Show

Behold: The most important TV crash course you will ever know! Bookmark this page,  because the next time you are heading to an awkward family dinner, holiday gathering, first date or dorm mixer, and need to pretend like you watch something, just to have something to talk about, THIS IS HOW YOU WILL DO IT.

Inspired by Mindy using Danny's mother's love of Castle as a way to get close to her on The Mindy Project—TV brings people together!—we're giving you the essential information you need to know about over 40 popular shows to help you get through any conversation with a TV fan. 

Consider this How to Get Your Way Through Any TV Show 101. And these are your Cliff's Notes. Shhhh, we won't tell if you won't!


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Cate Cameron/The CW

Arrow (The CW)

What It's About: This dark, gritty, realistic take on DC Comics Green Arrow character is about Oliver Queen (played by the incredible and incredibly hot Stephen Amell) who returns home to Starling City after being presumed dead and marooned on a deserted island for five years, only to return an expert archer on a mission to clean up his city from all the corruption. 

Words to Know: "Salmon ladder" = the greatest work out tool in the history of man. "Olicity" = the roller coaster ride of a relationship between Oliver and his tech sidekick Felicity (Emily Bett Rickards). Team Arrow = Name of Oliver's ever-growing crew, including Felicity, Diggle (David Ramsey), Thea (Willa Holland) aka Speedy, and Laurel (Katie Cassidy) aka Black Canary.

Thing to Say: "Every fight scene is movie quality!" or "Stephen Amell should totally play the Green Arrow in the Justice League movie."

Episode to Watch: "The Climb," because Ra's al Ghul finally lives up to his reputation by freakin' killing Oliver. You know what that means…get ready for some major Lazarus Pit action!


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Craig Blankenhorn/SHOWTIME

The Affair (Showtime)

What It's About: Set in Montauk, the drama tells the story of one affair from two points of view in season one: Noah (Dominic West), a dedicated husband and father, and struggling author, and Alison (Ruth Wilson), a local waitress grieving the loss of her son with Pacey Witter. In present-day, they are being grilled by a detective about a suspicious death. Season two opened up to four points of view (Why not?) to show Helen (Maura Tierney) and Cole's (Joshua Jackson) side of things.

Words to Know: "The End" = a very important hotel in the Hamptons at the center of the case.

Things to Say: "I don't know whose version to believe!"

Fun Fact: The first time Ruth Wilson and Josh Jackson met it was to film the sex scene in the pilot. She happens to be a huge Dawson's Creek fan.

Episode to Watch: "Episode 5," which reveals the person who is dead in the flash-forwards. And in season two, "Episode 7," which provides some crazy paternity drama, is a must-watch.


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Michael Yarish/CBS

The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

What It's About: Four geeks (Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar) +1 hot waitress (Kaley Cuoco) = TV's number one comedy. The series follows the shenanigans and romances of Sheldon and Amy (Mayim Bialik), Penny (Cuoco) and Leonard (Galecki), and Howard(Helberg) and Bernadette (Melissa Rauch), all while dropping epic pop culture references.

Words to Know: "Bazinga" = the show's iconic line from Sheldon, which he uses to convey that he's made a joke.

Things to Say:  "Bazinga!" and "WHEATON!" At least for starters.

Fun Fact: Cuoco wasn't the original Penny!  In fact, Penny wasn't even in the original pilot; it was a girl named Katie, played by Amanda Walsh.

Episode to Watch: "The Proton Transmogrification" aka  the epic Star Wars episode in season seven was just downright fun and totally captures everything great about the series. Plus, Bob Newhart!


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NBC

Blindspot (NBC)

What It's About: Jane Doe (Jaimie Alexander) wakes up in Times Square naked, with no memory and covered in tattoos, one of which is the name of FBI agent Kurt Weller (Sullivan Stapleton). The rest? Clues to crimes she must help the FBI solve.

Words to Know: "Operation Daylight" = A pact between the White House, the CIA and the FBI that led to collecting information on citizens through illegal NSA surveillance and pinning it on criminal sources in order to prosecute and blackmail people.

Things to Say: "What happens when they run out of tattoos?" or "I can't believe Jane is the mastermind of everything that's happened to her!"

Episode to Watch: The pilot since it sets everything into motion or the stunning midseason finale "Evil Handmade Instrument," which revealed that Jane was the one behind the memory wipe, the tattoos, and the delivery to Weller.


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Jordin Althaus/FOX

Bones (Fox)

What It's About: A forensic anthropologist (Temperance "Bones" Brennan, played by Emily Deschanel) and an FBI agent (Seeley Booth, played by David Boreanaz) solve murders and navigate their opposite views on science vs. faith. Obviously, they're also in love and married with a daughter named Christine. They work with a bunch of people who actually have normal names like Jack and Angela. There are a lot of bones.

Words to Know: "Squintern:" The term given by Booth to Bones' lab interns; one particularly memorable squintern, Vincent Nigel Murray, was killed in a season 6 episode, which led to Booth and Bones comforting each other, which led to Christine.

Things to Say: "I'm still so sad about Sweets' death!" or "How do you feel about them writing Emily Deschanel's second pregnancy into the show?"

Fun Fact: The show recently celebrated its 200th episode! 

Episode to Watch: "The Lance to the Heart:" The gang deals with the death of Lance Sweets, their friend and FBI psychologist, and investigate the conspiracy against Booth. It's an emotional episode that also perfectly shows off every character. 


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ABC/Richard Cartwright

Castle (ABC)

What It's About: A mama's boy mystery writer (Richard Castle, played by Nathan Fillion) follows a police detective (Kate Beckett, played by Stana Katic) around so he can write a character based on her. They solve murders together and to no one's surprise, they fell in love. They were recently married, but are now estranged spouses. Can you believe that?

Words to Know: "Caskett" = shipper name for Castle and Beckett, and "Firefly" = the beloved cult classic TV series, created by Joss Whedon, that Fillion starred on and is oft-referenced. 

Things to Say: "Can you believe they broke Castle and Beckett up after all that?"

Episode to Watch: "Once Upon a Time in the West:" The episode after the wedding, where Castle and Beckett solve a mystery at a dude ranch. It may take place mostly in Arizona instead of New York, but it's so quintessentially Castle that it's the perfect way to get the gist. 


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PBS

Downton Abbey (PBS)

What It's About: The Crawley family resides in the stately manor of Downton Abbey, there's dad Robert (Hugh Bonneville), American mom Cora (Elizabeth McGovern), sassy grandma Violet, the Dowager Countess (Maggie Smith) and the kids. The show takes place over a span of several years, yet the drama never really gets resolved.

Words to Know: "Poor Mr. Pamuk" = the guy Lady Mary (Michelle Dockery) slept with out who had a heart attack while doing it. "Matthew" = Mary's dead husband (Dan Stevens) who died just after the birth of their son, the heir to Downton Abbey. "Green"= the visiting valet who raped Anna (Joanne Froggatt).

Thing to Say: "Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson are my OTP." or "I'm not ready for it to end!"

Fun Fact: Gillian Anderson was considered for the role of Cora.

Episode to Watch:  Season three's "Episode One." It features Shirley MacLaine as Martha, Cora's mother and a lot of things Downton Abbey is known for. Dinner parties, drama, sassy retorts…


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James Dimmock/FOX

Empire (Fox)

What It's About: The high drama of the Lyon family and their record label empire called, obviously, Empire. Lucious (Terrence Howard) is a former drug dealer-turned-mogul & CEO who demands loyalty from his three sons. Cookie (Taraji P. Henson) is the ex-wife who spent 17 years in prison after taking the fall for running the drugs that funded Lucious' early career. Andre (Trai Byers), Jamal (Jussie Smollett), and Hakeem (Bryshere Y. Gray) are the sons caught in the middle. Oh, and there's original music and celebrity cameos. Lots of them.

Words to Know: "Bunkie" = Cookie's cousin and Lucious' assistant who Lucious murders in the pilot. "Lyon Dynasty" = Cookie's rival record label she's formed with Hakeem in season two. "Boo Boo Kitty" = Cookie's hysterical nickname for Anika (Grace Gealey), Lucious' ex-fiancee.

Things to Say: "Remember when Lucious was dying? I wish he still was." or "Jamal's a bit of a jerk this season." or "How many more celebrity cameos can they work onto this show?"

Episode to Watch: The pilot. This thing's so twisty and turn-y, you want to get in from the ground up so you'll know everything that's going on. Plus, hearing Cookie say "Boo Boo Kitty" for the first time is a thing of beauty.


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Netflix

The Fall (Netflix)

What It's About: Detective Superintendent Stella Gibson (Gillian Anderson) investigates a (super attractive) serial killer Paul Spector played by Jamie Dornan. The Good Wife's Archie Panjabi is there too!

Words to Know: "Operation Musicman" = the name of the investigation into the string of murders.

Thing to Say: "I don't know if I'm more attracted to Gibson or Spector." This is applicable no matter your gender or sexual orientation.

Episode to Watch: "The Vast Abyss." Gibson messes with Spector and vice versa. Creepy good.


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CW

The Flash (The CW)

What It's About: Barry Allen (Grant Gustin), a police forensic investigator, is struck by lightning and doused with chemicals after a particle accelerator explosion at S.T.A.R. Labs and awakens nine months later with superhuman speed. In season one, he and his team at the lab, including Dr. Harrison Wells (Tom Cavanagh), Cisco (Carlos Valdes), and Caitlin (Danielle Panabaker) fight criminals with powers like him while trying to solve who killed his mom when he was a kid. In season two, Zoom, a villain from an alternate universe, has come to kill Barry, even though he wears a suit just like Barry's, only a little more, you know, scarier.

Words to Know: "Metahuman" = Wells' word for people like Barry with superpowers. "Earth 2" = Zoom's home in the multiverse. Also home to Jay Garrick (Teddy Sears), that planet's Flash. "Grodd" = a hyper-intelligent gorilla given telepathic powers after being experimented on by Wells.

Things to Say: "No other show captures the joy of a comic book like The Flash." or "I think Zoom is [Earth 2 Barry/Earth 2 Joe/Earth 2 Henry Allen]" or "Is there anyone on TV who cries better than Jesse L. Martin as Joe?"

Episode to Watch: "Tricksters," the season one episode that revealed the truth about Dr. Wells—or should we say Eobard Thawne. An hour full of fun and heartbreak in just the right ratio, aka The Flash in a nutshell. "Enter Zoom" in season two is a great pick, too.


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HBO

Girls (HBO)

What It's About: Milennial problems, yo! Creator and star Lena Dunham plays our messy heroine Hannah (Lena Dunham), an aspiring writer navigating her early-twenties with college bestie, Marnie (Allison Williams), a Type-A-turned-wannabe-singer, Jessa (Jemima Kirke), the free-spirit who is actually a disaster, and Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet), Jessa's quirky cousin who is obsessed with Sex and the City and hair-buns. Hannah's weirdly lovable on-and-off boyfriend Adam (Adam Driver), former college BF-turned-gay BFF Elijah (Andrew Rannells), and Ray (Alex Karpovsky), Shosh and Marnie's love interest, make up the main guys of Girls. 

Words to Know: "Cafe Grumpy" = the real-life coffee shop that Ray runs and Hannah used to work at, or "Patrick Wilson," the actor at the center of Girls' most polarizing episode ever, "One Man's Trash."

Things to Say: "I mean, I don't want to say Lena Dunham is the voice of her generation, but she's definitely a voice of her generation?" Or "[Hannah/Marnie] is SO the wound!" or "Hey, at least Marnie's music videos aren't as bad as Peter Pan Live!, right?!" or "Can you believe Elijah knew Hannah's dad would come out way back in season one?!"

Episode to Watch: "Beach House," featuring the most epic fight between the four girls that was seasons in the making. Plus, choreographed dance break!


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Jeffery Neira/CBS

The Good Wife (CBS)

What It's About: Alicia Florrick (Julianna Margulies) is the wife of a disgraced politician (Chris Noth) who rises back to even greater power despite his very public dalliances. She's restarted her life and started her own firm, having new love and experiences along the way.

Words to Know: "Kalicia" = what fans called the friendship between Alicia and Kalinda (Archie Panjabi) before it disintegrated. "Saint Alicia" = A term fans and people in the show use for Alicia after she stays with her husband despite his penchant for affairs.

Fun Fact: Helen Hunt and Ashley Judd were offered the role of Alicia.

Thing to Say: "Elsbeth Tascioni (Carrie Preston) is the best recurring character." And/or "I miss Will, but his death did wonders for the show!" Plus, "I'll never get over Kalinda and Alicia's final scene being faked like that."

Episode to Watch: "The Last Call" from season five features some damn fine acting and set the show up for its new chapter.


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FOX

Gotham (Fox)

What It's About: Batman-less Batman prequel series. Starring The O.C.'s Ryan Atwood—ahem, sorry, we mean Ben McKenzie—as Jim Gordon before he's the Gotham City Police Department commissioner. He's the one good cop taking on the city-wide corruption, and that includes a bunch of DC villains like the Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot (Robin Lord Taylor) before they've reached their true, comic book potential.

Words to Know: "Arkham" = the abandoned asylum at the center of the turf war between rival crime bosses Falcone (John Doman) and Maroni (David Zayas). "Fish Mooney" = the wacky and campy villain played by Jada Pinkett Smith who can't seem to decide if Fish is British or American or somewhere in between. (She is one of the only original characters in the series.) "Leslie Thompkins" = Jim's love interest played by Morena Baccarin and another character created for the series. 

Thing to Say: "Robin Lord Taylor was born to play the Penguin!" or "Do you think they'll cram more villains into this season of Gotham than last?" or "Barbara Kean (Erin Richards) sure got more interesting when they had her go insane" or "I thought they made Nicholas D'Agosto a series regular. Where is Harvey Dent?"

Episode to Watch: "Penguin's Umbrella," aka the best episode of the series so far. It really showcases why Taylor is the breakout star of the show, and features the big twist that propelled the show forward in a big way in terms of thrilling action, clever schemes and surprising character connections. 


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ABC/Kelsey McNeal

Grey's Anatomy (ABC)

What It's About: Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) is still playing doctors in a Seattle hospital after over a decade, but now she's a widowed mother with three kids. That's right, Derek (Patrick Dempsey) was killed off at the end of season 11. New doctors have come and gone over the past decade, but sexy scandals, heart wrenching medical cases and relationship woes have always stuck around. Plus, Meredith just can't stop discovering that she has half-sisters!

Words to Know: "Code blue" = a patient is crashing, prepare for tears. "Calzona" = not a pizza-like food, but lesbian couple Callie (Sara Ramirez) and Arizona (Jessica Capshaw), who are married-but-newly-separated—and the fans are NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. "McDreamy" = what no one dare utter now that Derek's dead.

Thing to Say: "I don't even miss Derek!" or "I still miss Cristina!" or "Calzona is totally going to get back together!" or "Can you believe the doctor that 'killed' Derek works with Meredith now?"

Episode to Watch: "How to Save a Life," the season 11 episode where McDreamy bites it.


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Scott Green/NBC

Grimm (NBC)

What It's About: Fairy tales + police procedural = Grimm. Detective Nick Burkhardt (David Giuntoli) is a descendant of Grimms, people who protect others from mythological/supernatural threats.

Words to Know: "Wesen" = supernatural creature. "Trubel" = Theresa Rubel (played by Jacqueline Toboni), a runaway and Grimm.

Things to Say: "Jacqueline Toboni's story from screenwriting student to Grimm star is so awesome. Love seeing her kick butt."

Episode to Watch: "Pilot," start from the beginning and enjoy the ride.


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Joe Alblas/SHOWTIME

Homeland (Showtime)

What It's About: A somewhat brilliant bipolar CIA agent named Carrie Mathison (Claire Danes) is really good at her job and terrible at literally everything else. She spent a season falling in love with the celebrated war hero (Nicholas Brody, played by Damien Lewis) she was simultaneously accusing of being a terrorist. She became pregnant with his kid, and then he was executed. The show is much, much better now, the baby's growing up, and Carrie's living in Germany.

Words to Know: "F--k" = warning, this bomb is dropped a lot. 

Things to Say: "Season four feels so fresh. I'm glad they changed up the location." Or "Peter Quinn is my hero." Or "How many times can Carrie go crazy?" 

Fun Fact: Brody was originally supposed to be killed off at the end of season one, when he would have detonated a suicide vest, but the character was so popular that he stayed for two more seasons. It was a season (or maybe a season and a half) too long.

Episode to Watch: "There's Something Else Going On:" Season four's game-changing heartstopper of an episode that dealt with the return of Carrie's friend and mentor, Saul Berenson (Mandy Patinkin), after his capture by the terrorist Haqqani. Suspenseful, insane, and the best this show has to offer. 


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Nathaniel E. Bell/Netflix

House of Cards (Netflix)

What It's About: Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) wants power and nothing will stand in his way. He rose from congressman to president in two seasons. He doesn't mess around. Robin Wright is equally as scheming and fun to watch as Frank's wife Claire.

Words to Know: "Whip"= a political party enforcer who keeps members in line regarding party discipline. "Cashew" = The guinea pig of Gavin (Jimmi Simpson), a hacker. "Meechum"= a Secret Service agent who has a threesome with Frank and Claire…yep. What?!

Thing to Say: "Why isn't Frank Underwood my president…just kidding, I don't want a murderer running my country…but he does get things done."

Episode to Watch: "Chapter 1" to see where it all began. Frank Underwood kills a dog. You know he means business.


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ABC/Craig Sjodin

How to Get Away With Murder (ABC)

What It's About: Viola Davis is a high-powered lawyer named Annalise Keating who teaches a class known as "How to Get Away With Murder." Which is exactly what she helped a group of her students are trying to do after killing her husband, Sam (Tom Verica), a suspect in the murder of co-ed he was sleeping with. Season two has centered around a new case and a new flash-forward mystery: Who shot Annalise.

Words to Know: "The Keating Five" = the only students who matter in Annalise's class, who are also picked to work on her cases. "The Trophy" = the symbol of being the best student in case/murder weapon used to kill Sam.

Thing to Say: "Why doesn't Annalise ever call on any other student in class?" or "What did Annalise and Eve (Famke Jansen) do?" or "Is Wes really Christof?"

Fun Fact: The now-infamous scene where Viola Davis removes her wig and makeup? All Viola's idea.

Episode to Watch: "We're Not Friends," because of the aforementioned wig and makeup-free scene and because this gem is said: "Why is your penis on a dead girl's phone?" or "What Did We Do?" because it revealed who shot Annalise and kicked open a deeper mystery about the connection between her and Wes.


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Patrick Wymore/The CW

Jane the Virgin (The CW)

What It's About: Jane Villanueva (Gina Rodriguez) is an ambitious, religious virgin who just so happens to find herself accidentally artificially inseminated with her teenage crush Rafael Solano's (Justin Baldoni) sperm—and decides to keep the baby. As she comes to embrace motherhood, she finds herself in an on-going love triangle with Rafael and ex-fiance Michael (Brett Dier) while welcoming the father she didn't know existed—blowhard telenovela star Rogelio de la Vega (Jaime Camil)—into her life.

Words to Know: "Sin Rostro" = The criminal mastermind (who just so happens to be Rafael's step-mom Rose) whose machinations Jane finds herself unwittingly caught up in. "The Marbella" = Rafael's hotel where Jane works and a majority of all events in the show occur. 

Things to Say: "I'm Team Michael" or "I'm Team Rafael" or "I'm Team Jane."

Episode to Watch: "Chapter Twenty-Three," the season two premiere that quickly resolves the kidnapping cliffhanger from season one and wisely focuses on the emotional trauma Jane experiences in the aftermath. It's the perfect snapshot of Jane the Virgin's greatest strengths.


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Netflix

Jessica Jones (Netflix)

What It's About: Krysten Ritter stars as the titular character, a former vigilante with superhero powers who's turned to private investigating after a tragic end to her superhero career. Think Veronica Mars with superpowers and graphic sex.

Words to Know: "Kilgrave" = A mysterious man from Jessica's past with mind control powers who once made our hero do some very bad things. He's played to perfection by David Tennant. "Smile" = Kilgrave's sick command he likes to use on Jessica.

Things to Say: "The sex scenes between Jessica and Luke Cage (Mike Colter) are a bold first for Marvel." or "Jessica Jones is the best thing Marvel's brought to TV yet."

Episode to Watch: "AKA 1,000 Cuts," the first season's disturbing 10th episode that shows the depth of Kilgrave's powers and Jessica's will to stop him.


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Craig Blankenhorn/NBC

Law & Order: SVU (NBC)

What It's About: "In the criminal justice system, Sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, The dedicated detectives that investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories." At the heart of it all is Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) who has spent 16 years going from a detective to leading the squad.

Words to Know: "Stabler" = Olivia's former partner played by Christopher Meloni. He left the show after 12 years. ‘"The Beast" = William Lewis (Pablo Schreiber) terrorized Benson for several episodes. He kidnapped and tortured her and their final showdown ended with him taking his own life.

Thing to Say: "Sure I miss Stabler, but I've really enjoyed Benson's character growth since season 13."

Episode to Watch: "Surrender Benson," the season 15 premiere featured a stellar performance from Hargitay and set the show down a new path dealing with more personal elements mixed with the procedural police stories.


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ABC/Kelsey McNeal

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC)

What It's About: Marvel comics on the small screen. Avengers fan-favorite Coulson (Clark Gregg) was brought back to life using Kree DNA (against his wishes), and now is the leader of the damaged S.H.I.E.L.D., working to take down HYDRA after what the evil corporation did to S.H.I.E.L.D. He's got a small but loyal team that operates out of an underground base and a huge aircraft.

Words to Know: "The Bus" = the giant plane that can go invisible that S.H.I.E.L.D. takes on missions. "Oh-Eight-Four" = codename used for objects of unknown origin (usually alien artifacts, but also for S.H.I.E.L.D. member Skye (Chloe Bennett) who we now know is Daisy, an Inhuman with Quake powers). "ATCU" = the government agency that HYDRA is secretly using to build an Inhuman army.

Thing to Say: "FitzSimmons finally kissed!" or "What will happen to FitzSimmons when they rescue Will from that planet?" or "Can you believe Andrew was Lash?"

Episode to Watch: "4,722 Hours," because we finally learned exactly what happened to Simmons when she got sucked through the monolith. Spoiler: She fell in love. With someone who isn't Fitz. Bonus episode: "A Hen in the Wolfhouse," because FNL alum Adrianne Palicki is introduced as the badass Mockingbird! 


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Isabella Vosmikova/FOX

The Mindy Project (Fox)

What It's About: Mindy Lahiri (Mindy Kaling) is a boss in her professional life, but kind of a disaster in the romance department, that is until she and her cynical hot grump co-worker Danny (Chris Messina) finally acted on their will-they-or-won't-they chemistry and became a full-fledged (amazing) couple. And now they're parents! Quirky nurse Morgan (Ike Barinholtz), British doc Jeremy (Ed Weeks) round out the crew in this rom-com-gone-wrong.

Words to Know: "Whoa Nelly" = Danny's sexy-time word, now used by Mindy as well." "Beyonce Paid Thai" = Mindy's warrior name.

Thing to Say: "If Mindy and Danny don't end the series married…are you going to finish that?" or "My favorite guest star has to be [Seth Rogen, Shonda Rhimes, James Franco, Anders Holm, etc. etc.]." or "The move to Hulu actually helped the show."

Fun Fact: Beverly (Beth Grant), the office's wackjob of a nurse, actually wore some of Mindy's old clothes throughout season three.

Episode to Watch: "While I Was Sleeping," the season four opener that had Mindy imagine life if she hadn't fallen in love with Danny, while Danny was in India meeting her parents. It highlights just why these to characters belong together and reintroduces the show to its new Hulu audience.


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