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Season 3, Episode 4: Pot o' Gold (2011)
— Brittany believes that the new Irish exchange student Rory is a leprechaun and starts asking him to grant her wishes.
— Figgins cuts the musical's budget after Sue gets all the parents riled up, because there just aren't a lot of options when it comes to creating compelling obstacles for a high school glee club.
— Kurt gets Burt to get donations from business owners to pay for the musical, and this leads Burt to run against Sue for Congress.
— Quinn and Puck babysit Beth, and Quinn plants evidence to get Beth taken away from Shelby, but Puck later gets rid of it, and then starts flirting with Shelby, until they're eventually kissing, and making us feel the uncomfortable dread we feel when presented with student/teacher love affairs.
— Santana gets Rory to use his wish-granting to convince Brittany to defect to Shelby's show choir (now called The Troubletones), and Finn calls Brittany an idiot for beleiving in leprechauns.
— Rory joins the glee club.
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Season 3, Episode 5: The First Time (2011)
— Artie tells Rachel and Blaine that they need to get some sexual experience in order to act well in West Side Story, so they both try to pressure their boyfriends into sleeping with them. They then realize that was the wrong thing to do, so they wait until after opening night when it truly feels right, and it's all very lovely and nothing is awkward at all, just like in real life.
— Cooter the College Recruiter asks Beiste out on a date, and only shows minor signs of being totally awful.
— The Flash (aka Grant Gustin) arrives on the scene disguised as the evil new Warbler Sebastian, who gets Kurt and Blaine to join him at Scandals, Lima's only gay club.
— Finn has a crisis when he realizes that he has no future, because Cooter has no interest in him as a football player.
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Season 3, Episode 6: Mash Off (2011)
— Puck's got a serious thing for Shelby and tells her that Quinn is attempting to get Beth back, so Shelby says Quinn can't see Beth at all anymore.
— The Troubletones and New Directions have a mash-up competition in which Santana and Mercedes blow everyone away with a truly flawless Adele performance that we still listen to on a regular basis.
— Finn unintentionally outs Santana.
— One of Sue's congressional opponents uses Santana's lesbianism in a smear campaign against Sue for some reason.
— Rachel withdraws from the class president race and tells everyone to vote for Kurt instead.
— Santana slaps Finn in the face.
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Season 3, Episode 7: I Kissed A Girl (2011)
— Finn sings an emotional "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" to help make Santana feel better about her sexuality, and it works somehow.
— Cooter goes on a date with Sue because he's tired of just lifting weights with Beiste, and Beiste is very hurt.
— Santana comes out to her parents.
— Rachel rigs the class president election so Kurt wins, but Kurt gets in trouble for it.
— Shelby and Puck sleep together, but Shelby regrets it in the morning, so he then goes to Quinn. She wants to make another baby, but he just comforts her.
— Santana comes out to her grandmother, who kicks her out.
— Burt wins the election, and Beiste and Sue fight over Cooter for some indiscernible reason.
— Brittany is elected class president after Rachel confesses that the rigged the election, and Rachel is suspended and banned from Sectionals.
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Season 3, Episode 8: Hold Onto Sixteen (2011)
— Rachel convinces Quinn not to ruin Shelby and Beth's lives by exposing her affair with Puck.
— New Directions needs Sam back, and they find him stripping for money in Kentucky. They bring him back to Ohio.
— Sebastian continues to flirt with Blaine.
— Sam decides to win Mercedes back.
— Mike's dad has convinced Mike that dancing is dumb, so he's applying to pre-med programs. Tina tries to change Mr. Chang's mind.
— Shelby resigns from McKinley when Quinn confronts her about Puck.
— New Directions wins at Sectionals, and the Troubletones join the group.
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Season 3, Episode 9: Extraordinary Merry Christmas (2011)
— Sue is mad when the New Directions want to film a PBS special instead of helping out at a homeless shelter. They do both! It's very heartwarming.
— Rachel makes Finn buy her crazy presents, then realizes she doesn't need them and learns the true meaning of Christmas or whatever.
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Season 3, Episode 10: Yes/No (2012)
— Artie throws himself and his wheelchair into the pool during Will's massive pool-themed proposal to Emma. That is really all that matters.
— Ugh, fine. Emma says yes, and Finn also proposes to Rachel because why not?
— Artie also dates Becky, Cooter and Beiste elope, Will asks Finn (a teenager) to be his best man because he has no other friends, and Sam tries to win Mercedes back.
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Season 3, Episode 11: Michael (2012)
— Santana leads the New Directions in a Michael Jackson competition against Sebastian and the Warblers in a deserted car park.
— Sebastian fills a slushie with rocks and throws it in Blaine's face, damaging his eye.
— Rachel says yes to Finn's proposal
— Quinn gets into Yale and Kurt and Rachel are both finalists for NYADA.
— Sam and Mercedes kiss.
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Season 3, Episode 12: The Spanish Teacher (2012)
— Will takes actual Spanish classes in an effort to get tenure and recruits his Spanish teacher, Ricky Martin, to visit the glee club.
— NeNe Leakes shows up as new Cheerios coach Roz Washington after Sue gets complaints. Sue also wants tenure.
— Emma ends up getting the tenure, and Ricky Martin replaces Will as Spanish teacher.
— Sue wants the sperm of Will or one of the glee club boys to have a baby.
— Everybody thinks Rachel's decision to marry Finn is dumb.
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Season 3, Episode 13: Heart (2012)
— Artie and Rory fight over Sugar's affections.
— Mercedes and The God Squad introduce Quinn to new student Joe.
— Karofsky reveals his crush on Kurt, but Kurt turns him down.
— Mercedes tells Sam she can't be with him.
— Rachel and Finn have dinner with Rachel's dads (Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes Mitchel), who let Finn stay over so he and Rachel can get used to sleeping in the same room. They fight for a minute, but then make up and decide to get married in May.
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Season 3, Episode 14: On My Way (2012)
— Sebastian blackmails Rachel with a photoshopped picture of Finn to get her to drop out of Regionals.
— Sue is pregnant by a mysterious father.
— People at Karofsky's new school find out that he's gay and they torment him, so he tries to kill himself.
— Sebastian has a change of heart after realizing how mean he was to Karofsky and becomes a niec person.
— Rachel and Finn realize that life is short so they want to get married ASAP, right after Regionals.
— New Directions win Regionals.
— Finn and Rachel are waiting for Quinn to arrive at their wedding, but she texts and drives and ends up in a bad car accident.
— All of this happened in one episode and we need a nap.
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Season 3, Episode 15: Big Brother (2012)
— Quinn is temporarily in a wheelchair, and she and Artie bond.
— Blaine's brother Cooper, played by Matt Bomer, arrives to make Blaine feel inferior, and they sing "Somebody I Used to Know" but it's kind of weird.
— Sue's baby will probably have Down Syndrome.
— Puck asks Finn to start a pool cleaning business in LA, but Rachel does not agree to this.
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Season 3, Episode 16: Saturday Night Glee-ver (2012)
— Mercedes and Kurt meet Vocal Adrenaline's lead singer Unique.
— Will worried about everyone's dreams and makes them have a disco dance contest.
— Finn decides to go to the Actor's Studio and become an actor.
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Season 3, Episode 17: Dance With Somebody (2012)
— Everyone mourns and pays tribute to Whitney Houston.
— Kurt thinks Blaine doesn't like him anymore so he texts another guy, but really Blaine is just sad about Kurt moving to New York.
— Joe goes to physical therapy with Quinn and it turns him on, which Quinn is OK with.
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Season 3, Episode 18: Choke (2012)
— Rachel screws up her NYADA audition for Whoopi Goldberg.
— Puck fails his geography test and it doesn't look like he'll be able to graduate.
— Sue and Roz realize that Cooter has been hitting Beiste so they help her get out of the relationship while also teaching Santana and the other glee girls about abusive relationships.
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Season 3, Episode 19: Prom-asaurus (2012)
— Brittany announces a dinosaur-themed prom and a ban on hair gel, which is a big problem for Blaine, but provides a reason for Kurt to say he loves him no matter what.
— Quinn stuns everyone at prom by standing up.
— Finn and Rachel win prom king and queen because Santana and Quinn decided that they should, even though Quinn actually won.
— Puck succeeds at spiking the punch.
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Season 3, Episode 20: Props (2012)
— Tina falls into a fountain and bumps her head. She wakes up as Rachel Berry, and all of the glee kids are dressed up as each other. It's weird, but somehow also very satisfying.
— Beiste finally actually leaves Cooter, and convinces Puck's geography teacher to give him a second chance.
— Rachel begs Whoopi Goldberg for a second chance at her NYADA audition, and asks her to watch Rachel perform at Nationals.
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Season 3, Episode 21: Nationals (2012)
— Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton are judges at Nationals.
— New Directions wins, solving everybody's problems forever, and now the whole school loves them.
— Will wins Teacher of the Year and he and Emma finally have sex.
— Jesse tells Whoopi Goldberg to let Rachel into NYADA.
— We're so tired.
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Season 3, Episode 22: Goodbye (2012)
— Mercedes gets a gig as a backup singer and Santana plans to head to New York, while Brittany isn't graduating yet.
— Will tells Finn about the pot he planted in his locker, and Finn is totally cool with it.
— Kurt and Finn do not get into the only colleges they applied to, but Rachel does, but wants to defer to wait for them.
— Everybody graduates except for the people who aren't graduating.
— Finn takes Rachel to the train station instead of their wedding, telling her to go to New York with zero preparation while he joins the Army.
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Season 4, Episode 1: The New Rachel (2012)
— At NYADA, Rachel clashes with her dance teacher, Kate Hudson, and meets a hot upperclassman named Brody.
— The new New Directions, including Unique and newcomer Marley, compete to be the new Rachel, and Blaine wins.
— Sue introduces her baby, Robin, and picks cheerleader Kitty as the new Quinn.
— Kurt, who had been working as a barista, goes to New York to follow his dreams.
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Season 4, Episode 2: Britney 2.0 (2012)
— Brittany has no idea who she is after being kicked off of the Cheerios due to bad grades, so Will has the glee club sing more Britney Spears to help her find herself again. It works, with some help from Sam, and she gets herself back on the Cheerios.
— Kurt and Rachel find a magically huge apartment in New York and Kurt lands a magical internship with Vogue.com and then a rich old wizard gives them lots of money and forgives all future student loans and medical expenses, while also providing endless free food. Most of that is not true.
— Marley flirts with Jake, who is Puck's younger half-brother, but then Jake is dating Kitty or some such nonsense.
— Rachel paints Finn's name on the wall in her apartment, but then paints over it at the end after Brody tries to kiss her.
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Season 4, Episode 3: Makeover (2012)
— Sarah Jessica Parker plays Kurt's boss at Vogue.com, and somehow does not laugh in his face when he tells her he's not impressed with the website and the upcoming stories. She also helps him give Rachel a makeover. Just another magical day in fake New York!
— Blaine runs against Brittany for class president and wins with Sam's help, and they become BFFs.
— Rachel hangs out with Brody and Finn shows up as a surprise.
— Kurt has too much fun at Vogue.com to answer Blaine's phonecall.
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Season 4, Episode 4: The Break Up (2012)
— Finn explains his absence: He joined the army but then weas discharged after shooting himself in the thigh on accident, so then he backpacked around Georgia for a while. Rachel invites him to move in with her.
— Blaine shows up in New York early to see Kurt and to reveal that he hooked up with another guy out of loneliness. Finn tells Rachel he doesn't feel like he fits into her new life, and they both sneak back to McKinley.
— Santana breaks up with Brittany unofficially.
— Will and Emma argue over a job opportunity for Will in D.C.
— Kitty stages a fake rapture for the new kids who aren't important yet.
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Season 4, Episode 5: The Role You Were Born To Play (2012)
— Finn co-directs a production of Grease at McKinley with Artie and realizes that was what he was always supposed to be doing.
— Football player Ryder gets cast as Danny to Marley's Sandy, and thus a love triangle between Marley, Jake, and Ryder begins while we try really hard to care about it.