Season 5, Episode 8: Previously Unaired Christmas (2013)
— A fake flashback to Christmas 2012 shows Rachel, Santana, and Kurt get drugged and/or tied up by a fake Santa, who then robs them. Meanwhile, the New Directions put on the most offensive but creative Nativity scene ever, and then we totally forgot this episode ever happened.
Season 5, Episode 9: Frenemies (2014)
— Tina and Artie fight over who gets to be valedictorian and who gets to sing a solo at Nationals, and Tina ends up throwing Artie out of his wheelchair during a standard diva-off.
— Santana auditions for and is cast as Rachel's understudy in Funny Girl, and Rachel ain't happy about it.
— Tina and Artie feel so bad that when it comes to competing to give the Valedictorian speech, they both give it up for the other one. Sue gives up and makes them both salutatorians while Blaine will be the valedictorian. Blaine suggests they just all sing a song together instead. These people, man.
— Rachel dramatically moves herself out of the loft after Kurt can't decide who to side with in the Rachel vs. Santana fight.
Season 5, Episode 10: Trio (2014)
— Will and Emma start having sex at school because they're trying to have a kid. Sue is disgusted by this, which is totally understandable.
— Rachel has moved in with Starchild/Elliott, and the fighting between her and Santana intensifies as Santana schemes to take over Rachel's Funny Girl role completely.
— Tina and Sam make out during their unofficial senior lock-in, leaving Blaine to play Twister with Becky.
— Emma's pregnant by the end of the episode.
Season 5, Episode 11: City of Angels (2014)
— New Directions plans to dedicate their Nationals performance to Finn with Burt and Carole in the audience, but Carole has a hard time being around Finn's friends, and their inspirational picture of Finn goes missing. They manage to pull it together anyway, and Carole stays to support the club.
— They come in second to Throat Explosion, which means that Sue has no choice but to disband them since they didn't win.
Season 5, Episode 12: 100 (2014)
— All the alumni go back to McKinley as the glee club is disbanded to perform old songs again.
— Mercedes and Rachel can't stop competing over who is the bigger diva. Santana reveals that Rachel never actually won prom queen, which sends Rachel off crying, and Will cancels the vote for the diva-off.
— Quinn introduces Puck to her new boyfriend Biff (Chace Crawford), but who Puck then beats up because he insults Quinn after finding out what she was really like in high school. Puck and Quinn kiss.
— Santana and Britany get back together.
— April and Holly plan to save the glee club somehow.
Season 5, Episode 13: New Directions (2014)
— Everyone says goodbye to the glee club, and they perform "Don't Stop Believin'" again.
— Puck and Quinn have officially decided to date long distance.
— Santana drops out of Funny Girl and encourages Brittany to leave MIT.
— Tina gets into Brown.
— Blaine, Brittany, Sam, Tina, Becky, and Artie all graduate high school.
— Sue tells Will that she got him an interview to be the new coach of Vocal Adrenaline.
— Marley, Ryder, Jake, and Unique disappear after graduation, never to be seen or heard from again (until the finale?).
Season 5, Episode 14: New New York (2014)
— Blaine, Sam, Artie, and Mercedes all end up in New York.
— Artie gets mugged.
— Blaine and Kurt learn that their relationship needs boundaries.
— Sam gets a haircut.
— Blaine and Sam move out of Kurt and Rachel's apartment and into Mercedes' new apartment.
— Rachel learns to ride on the subway, as opposed to taking her towncar everywhere, and she helps Artie find his mugger and get his laptop back.
— Adam Lambert is somehow stuck in the middle of it all.
Season 5, Episode 15: Bash (2014)
— Mercedes claims that she and Sam can't be together due to all the relationships he's had and girls he's slept with, but then she makes out with him anyway. They decide to date privately for five minutes until Mercedes' back up singers tell her it's a bad idea. So Mercedes dumps Sam and makes him move out.
— Rachel quits NYADA when Whoopi Goldberg (also known as Carmen Tibideaux) is unreasonable, and Kurt gets mad.
— Kurt tries to help a man who's being attacked and gets attacked himself, ending up in the hospital.
— Mercedes changes her mind about Sam yet again and they get back together.
— Kurt and Rachel make up and all is well.
Season 5, Episode 16: Tested (2014)
— Kurt, Blaine, Sam, and Artie all go together to get tested for STDs, and it turns out Artie has Chlamydia, and he's been sleeping with two different girls.
— Artie tells his two girlfriends about the Chlamydia. One takes it well, the other gets very mad, and then Julie, the girl he really likes, finally wants to go out with him.
— Kurt feels like he's finally getting hot, while Blaine is gaining weight mostly due to cronuts. This, along with Blaine's apparent porn habit and the fact that Kurt no longer needs to be protected, causes tension in their relationship.
— Mercedes goes to church to ask God if she and Sam should have sex and determines that she should wait until she's married. Sam is upset at first, but then he decides he's fine with it.
— Rachel says she still needs time before she starts seeing someone again.
— When Julie finds out about the Chlamydia, she calls Artie a creeper and rejects him, which is probably the correct response.
Season 5, Episode 17: Opening Night (2014)
— Will and Sue fly to New York for Rachel's opening night.
— Tina also arrives to ruin everyone's day by just being Tina.
— Santana shows up and manages to cheer up the super nervous Rachel.
— Emma goes into labor right before Rachel goes on stage.
— Rachel nails it, obvi.
— Sue meets a man named Mario while in New York and has a wild love affair with him...in Rachel and Kurt's apartment. She tries to insult Rachel's performance, but Rachel insults her back and she leaves.
— Will and Emma's baby is named Daniel Finn Schuester.
— Sue goes back to Ohio, even though she and Mario fell in love in a day.
Season 5, Episode 18: The Back-Up Plan (2014)
— Rachel is super successful on Broadway but decides to fly to LA to audition for a TV show on a show night, leaving Santana to have to cover for her.
— Blaine makes friends with an elderly socialite named June (Shirley Maclaine) and she decides to make him a star by planning an entire show around him, making Kurt jealous.
— Santana almost signs a record deal with Mercedes, until she has to leave to save Rachel's job.
— Rachel does not get the part on that TV show but does get the opportunity to star in her own show, which is way better...in theory.
Season 5, Episode 19: Old Dog New Tricks (2014)
— Rachel needs a cause to help her declining image, and she happens to find the one dog shelter in New York whose dogs respond best to music.
— Sam adopts a dog named McConaughey and spends the whole episode arguing with Mercedes about keeping him, and he is eventually adopted by another couple.
— Kurt plays Peter Pan in a nursing home production of Peter Pan and finally has purpose in his life.
— Rachel, with help from Santana, organizes a benefit to make herself look better.
Season 5, Episode 20: The Untitled Rachel Berry Project (2014)
— Rachel meets with a TV writer who is clearly insane, but Rachel loves the second draft of a script she writes for her.
— Sam and Mercedes break up due to her wanting to wait to have sex, and Sam decides that modeling has gotten too weird, so he's going back to Lima.
— Blaine moves in with Kurt after they both perform at June's showcase.
— Mercedes and Brittany head out on tour.
— Rachel gets a call that producers in LA want to make the script into a pilot.
Season 6, Episode 1: Loser Like Me (2015)
— Rachel goes back to Lima after her pilot fails horribly to find that her dads are getting a divorce.
— Blaine and Kurt broke up and Blaine failed out of NYADA, so he's also back in Lima to coach the Warblers.
— Sam is the water boy for the football team.
— Will coaches Vocal Adrenaline.
— Rachel and Kurt get the superintendent to let them reinstate and coach the glee club, funded out of Rachel's own pocket, and he agrees.
— Kurt discovers the horrifying news that Blaine is now dating Karofsky.
— Rachel sings "Let It Go," and we really wish we could.
Season 6, Episode 2: Homecoming (2015)
— All the alumni come back for Homecoming and to help recruit people to join the glee club.
— A girl named Jane wants to be in the Warblers, which breaks tradition, so the group refuses to let her join. She transfers to McKinley and joins the glee club there instead.
— Sue tries to get Spencer, the "postmodern gay" on the football team, to join the glee club in order to sabotage it.
— The club starts off with four new members: Jane, a shy kid named Roderick, and the "incest twins" from the Cheerios, Mason and Madison.
Season 6, Episode 3: Jagged Little Tapestry (2015)
— Becky wants Quinn and Tina to help convince her boyfriend that she was in the glee club, because she told him she was, but Becky's boyfriend Darrell is actually just a nice guy who really cares about Becky and thinks she's cool, which is great for Becky.
— Santana proposes to Brittany in front of the new and old glee club, and Kurt gets irrationally mad because they're young and stupid, which might be true, but he didn't have to be so mean about it.
— Santana then gets back at Kurt by chewing him out for every terrible thing he's ever done, and it is marvelous.
— Coach Beiste reveals that she has started taking steps to transition into a man.
Season 6, Episode 4: The Hurt Locker, Part One (2015)
— We discover that Sue has a secret storage locker filled with pictures of people she stalks and voodoo dolls and a shrine to Klaine, and she wants them to end up together so she can be the flower girl at their wedding. We begin to wonder if we are still awake or if we fell asleep watching TV again.
— Sue sets up a pointless invitational for New Directions, Vocal Adrenaline, and the Warblers to compete in.
— Sue also hypnotizes Sam to fall in love with Rachel, kiss Rachel, and then completely forget doing that.
— Sue also puts a real, live, non-human bear in Blaine and Karofsky's bedroom, and invites all of Karofsky's exes to Breadstix at the same time, and reveals that Blaine and Karofsky are distant cousins in an effort to break them up.
— Sam and Rachel flirt for real, but then they kiss and he forgets about it, due to the hypnosis.
— Kurt meets up with an online date named Walter who turns out to be way older than Kurt thought, but he goes along with it anyways.
Season 6, Episode 5: The Hurt Locker, Part Two (2015)
— Sue traps Blaine and Kurt in an elevator overnight and says they have to kiss if they want to get out.
— Kitty and Spencer join the glee club.
— Kurt and Blaine finally kiss in the elevator, but only because their life depends on it.
— New Directions win the Invitational because they picked all of Sue's favorite songs to perform.
Season 6, Episode 6: What the World Needs Now (2015)
— Brittany's mother reveals that Brittany's real father is Stephen Hawking, and Brittany tells her mother and her step-father that she's marrying Santana.
— Sam and Rachel say "I love you" on accident.
— Brittany tricks Santana's grandmother into accepting their love, but it doesn't quite work.
— Mercedes thinks Rachel belongs back on Broadway so she gets her an audition in New York, which Rachel goes to.
Season 6, Episode 7: Transitioning (2015)
— Will misses New Directions because Vocal Adrenaline is sort of awful. He quits and comes back to McKinley.
— Coach Beiste reveals his new look and while there are a few haters, most people are supportive.
— Sam and Rachel kiss without the influence of hypnosis.
— Karofsky tells Blaine to go to Kurt, but Blaine finds him on a date with Walter.
Season 6, Episode 8: A Wedding (2015)
— All of the alumni prepare for Brittany and Santana's wedding, and TIna complains a lot.
— Tina decides she's going to propose to Mike, despite the fact that she is not dating him. No one thinks this is a good idea.
— Kurt and Blaine get back together, which is just in time for Brittany and Santana to surprise them with the fact that it's a double wedding! No one warns the audience or the officiant (Burt) of this beforehand.
— Santana tells everyone to put on their "OTP" hats. OTP? Really? SMH, Glee. SMDH.
— Tina proposes to Mike and he responds correctly by pointing out how ridiculous that idea is, and promising Tina that she doesn't have to get married just because all of her friends are doing it.
Season 6, Episode 9: Child Star (2015)
— The glee club organizes and performs at a bar mitzvah in the auditorium for the precocious nephew of the superintendent. Honestly, it's a pretty cool bar mitzvah.
— The new kids do some things, which is very nice for them.
— Myron, the aforementioned preococious nephew, then joins the glee club, along with Spencer's new crush, Alistair.
Season 6, Episode 10: The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester (2015)
— Dalton Academy burns to the ground, so the Warblers join up with the New Directions and argue about jackets a lot.
— All of Sue's lies and scheming are finally exposed by Geraldo Rivera, of all people. He reveals that Sue's mother was not actually a nazi hunter and told her that lie just because she didn't love her very much, and he features interviews with glee club members, former students, men Sue claims to have dated, and Becky, who was the original whistleblower. Sue is fired from McKinley forever, supposedly.
— Rachel gets the part she auditioned for, and also gets back into NYADA if she wants to.
— Sue becomes the coach of Vocal Adrenaline and vows to take New Directions down for the billionth time.
Season 6, Episode 11: We Built This Glee Club (2015)
— Sue attacks the New Directions with glitter bombs, a poisoned water supply, and other such nonsense right before Sectionals.
— Roderick and Spencer struggle with their dancing, and Spencer sprains his ankle.
— Jesse St. James shows up to tell Rachel that he is the male lead in the show she was cast in, and he recommended her for it. Meanwhile, Sam firmly believes that Rachel should go back to NYADA.
— The New Directions KILL IT at Sectionals, particularly with a performance of Sia's "Chandelier" that featured Myron in a full-body leotard and Spencer actually swinging from a giant chandelier. Truly breathtaking, and they win. Sue claims that her sabotage was actually to help them win, but that seems doubtful.
— Rachel tells Jesse that she's chosen to go back to NYADA, and they share a goodbye kiss.
— The episode ends with Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine all planning to move back to New York together, with Will resuming his rightful place at the head of the glee club.

