27. Debra Messing's Wardrobe on Smash
As Broadway lyricist Julia Houston, she's sported enough chunky scarves and ill-fitting duster tops to dress the entire cast of Cymbalta: The Musical. More, please.
26. 2 Chainz, Overworked Rapper
It started with his scene-stealing verse on Nicki Minaj's "Beez in the Trap." Now Kanye, Ciara and Justin Bieber—pretty much everyone but Carly Rae Jepsen—are grabbing his guest shots at a rumored $100K a pop.
25. Chris Rene's New Teeth
The X Factor finalist's dental rehab—more of a tasteful de-snaggling than a Lil Wayne grill job—is an apt reward for a dude who's chewed his way out of some serious life struggles. Smile on, bro.
24. Google Doodles
A playable Moog synthesizer. A functional mini-game of Pac-Man. Stylish tributes to history's coolest cultural icons. With super-creative distractions like these, who needs actual search results?
23. Lana Del Rey on Hiatus
Sorry, fickle SNL viewers. Too bad, spiteful indie-rock blogosphere. What hasn't killed the pretty, vacant, postmodern chanteuse will only make her stronger.
22. Netflix Streaming
A year after the DVD-by-mail kingpins angered customers by splitting off a digital-streaming-only subscription option, we can't imagine life without it. Breaking Bad, Dawson's Creek, Sorority Wars. Best of all, we don't have to be nice to that fair-weather friend with pirated cable anymore.
21. Alabama Shakes
Fronted by retro R&B siren Brittany Howard, this Southern-fried roots-rock act is kicking The Black Keys to the bottom of our iTunes most-played list. If their summer tour misses your town, the debut album Boys and Girls is a powerful consolation prize.
20. Johnny Depp, Pale-Faced Freak
While he hit some swarthy-sexy high points as the naturally tawny Captain Jack Sparrow, we secretly prefer Depp as the pasty freak we fell in love with circa Edward Scissorhands. Cue his latest (or any!) Tim Burton team-up, Dark Shadows, which finds the shape-shifting star paler than ever before.
19. Lena Dunham
There's a reason why a nation of millennials has stolen their parents' HBO Go passwords to watch every single episode of Girls. Three or four backlashes later, Dunham still exposes what it's actually like to be a girl these days.
18. Adventure Time
Any show with character named Hot Dog Princess is worthy of your DVR. The latest Cartoon Network cult phenom packs more manic creativity into a single 11-minute episode than most sitcoms muster in a whole frickin' season.
17. Florida, Hotbed of Insanity
From the Trayvon case to bath-salt cannibals to that dude who kitesurfed in Tropical Storm Debby, the Sunshine State has become an addicitive 24/7 reality show that makes The Walking Dead look like The View.
16. LL Cool J on NCIS
The rapper who once advised us to "forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies" has finally found an acting vehicle worthy of his earnest chops and caramel sex appeal. In other words, you can finally go ahead and trash those VHS copies of In the House.
15. Anna Wintour
She's long been a powerhouse in the fashion world, but her moonlighting as a political fundraiser has us gawking all over again. Along with couture comrades like Sarah Jessica Parker, she's selling out Obama campaign dinners at, like, $40,000 a head.
14. Justin Bieber, Paparazzi Thug
It was only a matter of time before an aggressive shutterbug pushed the petit pop prince to the point of getting physical. In lieu of a bar mitzvah, we consider this to be Biebs' rite of celebrity passage.
13. Hillary Clinton in Sunglasses
If only her 2008 campaign team had realized that all it takes to make Hillary look like a bawse is a pair of well-chosen shades. Especially with Kim Jong Il out of the way, she is positively owning the heads-of-state-in-protective-eyewear meme.
12. "Call Me Maybe" Covers on YouTube
Just when you think you're ready to go cold turkey, you find another adorable tween making like a Top 40 star. And then Jimmy Fallon doing a version with classroom instruments. And then another one made up entirely of Obama speech snippets. And then Carly Rae Jepsen's ditty never leaves your head, or your browser. Send help!
11. American Idol Turns 10
Can you believe "It was a little pitchy, dawg" has been in our TV lexicon for a whole decade? Idol may have birthed more where-are-they-nows than Carrie Underwoods, but we're ready to cheer/jeer/live-tweet our way through as many seasons as Fox can churn out.
10. Brad & Angelina's Wedding Plans
The last time this many reporters booked extended stays in Louisiana, it was to cover the biggest flood disaster in modern history. We're glad it's about love this time—love, and an atomic convergence of celebrity hotness.
9. Abraham Lincoln, Screen Idol
As played by Daniel Day-Lewis in the upcoming Spielberg epic, he's a complex, towering icon of American history. As played by Benjamin Walker in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, he's the president most likely to stake a bloodsucker on the White House lawn. Either way...U-S-A!
8. Draw Something Galleries
When life gives you lemons, go online and check out thousands of amazing/horrifying attempts to illustrate the word "lemonade." It's like an endless sea of digital cocktail napkins, and we cannot stop browsing.
7. Britney Spears on The X Factor
Once again one-upping her chart nemesis Christina Aguilera, pop's favorite comeback queen will earn $20 million for joining Simon Cowell's collection of human punching bags. Must. Watch. Now.
6. Kate Middleton, Clothing Recycler
Conspicuous consumption by the British aristocracy is, like, so 20th century (and pretty much every previous century). These days, we like our royals to show some restraint by pulling a repeat out of the hamper once in a while.
5. Girls With Arrows
Between The Hunger Games' Katniss Everdeen, Brave's Princess Merida and Arya Stark from Game of Thrones, Hollywood has unleashed a whole mess of bow-dacious female heroes. Maybe The CW should consider changing Oliver Queen to Olivia Queen in the upcoming Green Arrow series.
4. Ryan Gosling 4-Ever
With his sexy-em-effer roles in flicks like Drive and the upcoming Gangster Squad, it's easy to forget this dude once mugged as a TV Mouseketeer in the shadow of Justin, Britney and Christina. Sorry we passed you over, Ry Ry—never again, we promise.