Wiz Khalifa
I imagine Wiz Khalifa smells like Biz Markies toilet brush.
Meghan Trainor
Megan Trainor is like if the sassy girl you used to work with at Express just randomly had a singing career
Ed Sheeran
I can't stand this new Ed Sheeran. . Like why TF are you happy on your records? You're a f**kin ginger for ******'s sake. Be sad.
Kelly Clarkson
Well Kelly Clarkson is on, time to go poop.
Drake
Drake looks like a ferret with a baby afro!
The Killers
Also, I think The Killers f**king suck. I'd rather listen to a bum repeatedly d**k-slap my face
Mumford & Sons
I love how music takes you away to another place. Like Mumford & Sons is playing at this restaurant so now I'm going to another restaurant.
Demi Lovato
Omg Demi Lovato makes my f**king ears bleed stfu you talentless t**t your gonna give me a heart attaaaaaaaaack
Ricky Martin
Ricky martin? More like icky fartin!
Little Big Town
Honestly little big town id rather listen to a turd hitting the toilet than ur new songs
Lionel Richie
If Lionel Richie wants Once, Twice, Three times a Lady… Then he's a picky Mother F**ker! Take what you can get A**hole!!
Blake Shelton
If I could choose to punch one piece of s**t in the face it would be Blake Shelton f**k that bloated a**hole
Josh Groban
Hey Josh Groban! Suck my d**ck, ya big tool!
James Taylor
Hey, James Taylor, we get it. You've seen fire and rain, Guess what? So have I and so have a lot of people. It isn't that special. #douche
Charlie Wilson
Charlie Wilson reminds me of that old creepy uncle you weren't allowed to be alone with growing up o_O
Common
@common is that the motto for your penis?
Kirsten Dunst
Kirsten Dunst's teeth bother the f**k out of me. They look like a s**tload of tictacs throwing gang signs.
Daniel Radcliffe
Daniel Radcliffe is one of God's most unattractive creations since the aardvark.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
F**king Julia Louis-Dreyfus 50 year old ass still on TV and winning awards and s**t. Bitch, you NEED to retire.
Michael B. Jordan
I swear on Crip, if I see Michael B Jordan imma slap that mini feather duster he call a mustache off his lip bruh
Juliana Margulies
Julianna Margulies is one of the finest ugly women I have seen.
Keegan-Michael Key & Jordan Peele
I'd rather stick a beaver in my anus than sit through Key and Peele.
Viola Davis
Viola Davis' boobs look like a butt, and I think she thinks her butt-boobs are an asset: they're/it's not
Matthew Perry
I have ‘Matthew Perry Syndrome' – I'm a sarcastic loser with a giant head.